Sunday, April 30, 2006

sunday.. supposedly a good day for rest and enjoyment.. but i had a rather bad sunday today.. din do much things today.. cauz got disturbed last night.. and wasn't feeling good.. thinking too much.. but i guess i should realli think thru things.. got affected once again by things that are happening ard mi..

actually thought i gained a little acceptance from ppl.. but i guess i din ba.. ppl still look at mi with the same light after last time incidence.. especially on friday when i went for that fcuking talk in skl.. i was beatened back to square one.. when someone wrote on his blog that i was the "1 and special 1".. maybe perhaps ppl may think that its nothing, but to mi, its a big thing.. 1 and special 1.. wat did the person imply? his sarcasm??? his unhappiness??? his hate??? i dunno.. shan't say who he or she is.. but i guess he or she would noe i am toking bout u.. i mean plz la.. give urself some respect and others some space to breathe.. if u realli wanna show ur unhappiness.. kao bei it to mi la..

i din mean to realli wanna go for the talk.. but wat that person say meant alot.. saying i purposely wanna go for that talk.. something along that line i guess.. i mean put urself in my shoes.. u din get out of skl in time and got locked in.. forget it.. i guess he or she wun understand.. no matter how much i explain.. its futile.. cauz his or her perception on mi will nv change no matter wat i guess.. and i am realli too tired to care le ba.. i guess there is nothing i can do anymore.. no matter how much i change.. no matter how much i am willing to accomodate and care for others.. it wun help.. i am juz too tired.. realli tired..

i realli dunno why.. so many things have been gushing in and out of my brains.. so many thoughts i have.. that is realli making mi confused and very baffled.. i msged mr chai last night to tell him wat i feel.. but i guess i am juz stupid ba.. shouldn't have made this comment to him.. i told mi i realli hope he can stop calling miss ng "huang lao" behind her back.. cauz our class ppl is following suit and calling her the same thing.. i guess no matter wat she does badly or she says badly, i believe that she still command and deserve a bit of respect for she is once our teacher.. moreover, she has not been with our class for a long time and i think she din do anything earthshaking.. i mean ppl may say i am juz trying to get pai miss ng de ma pi.. but i seriously dun care anymore liao.. mr chai told mi he can say anything he likes cauz she is not his teacher.. but he also says he din ask us to call her name.. but i mean wat he says is juz futile.. our class ppl will still call her nicknames behind her back.. but i realli feels she deserve that single bit of respect for wat she has done for us.. unless ppl deny her efforts.. i got nothing to say.. i realli dun wish our class ppl become ingrateful and disrespectful.. i mean we go thru education not to be ingrateful and disrespectful barbarians.. i realli dunno.. but i realli wish our class ppl can stop calling her names.. but i guess this wish will nv ever come thru.. this is the failure of education.. and i guess everyone will hate mi saying all these..

i realli dunno.. if i post this up, ppl will start hating mi again i believe.. and worse than ever before.. but i still choose to post this up.. cauz i dun care le.. i realli wish for the good of our class.. but i feel many ppl wun believe in wat i say.. mr chai said i did not have brains to think and say things.. i am hurt.. seriously hurt.. a teacher said this to mi.. it may be an advice.. but its harsh i guess.. perhaps i realli do not have brains ba.. but i realli do not wanna be hurt over and over again for anything i done wrong.. but i guess this will nv come true.. ppl will juz condemn mi for a mistake made.. and i guess i dun wanna care anymore le.. i am tired.. so tired of life le..

Saturday, April 29, 2006

today is the same boring saturday.. watch tv the whole morning and afternoon again.. and toking to my frends on msn.. practically nothing to do today.. din wanna do homework cauz decided i would do it tml and on monday.. reading comics to kill time also..

i the more meaningful things i done today is toking to my frend and senior online ba.. listened to some of the problems my frend had.. he is very worried over things that is happening lately.. quite worried for him actually.. cauz it seems to be affecting his studies.. and making him mentally and physically drained out.. worried he might not tide thru.. quite worried for him.. but nonetheless wanna wish him all the best here and hope he doesn't think too much.. hope he can sort out his thinking and thoughts so he can resolve everything soon.. guess can onli wish him all the best ba.. take care too..

then was toking to my senior who is in ns right now.. told him some of the problems i have and chatted about ns thingy he is going thru now.. he also gave mi some advice to the problems i am having now and i think it helps.. he told mi "tough times last but tough man lasts".. i guess its realli true ba.. have to think thru and solve the problems myself too.. and i guess its time to let go of my worries i have been saying on my blog these few days.. it wun do mi any good i think.. have to try my best to overcome it.. so that i can focus on my studies and work hard towards A levels.. have to jia you ba..

will be going to my aunt house later.. guess there will be nothing significant that will happen later ba.. i will end here ba.. tata.. =)

Friday, April 28, 2006

today is a super super super lousy day.. damn it.. unlucky events happened one after the other.. damn it.. start of the day had chemistry lesson which was fine.. but when it came to gp, it seriously sux big time.. seriously, i have a brainless and idiotic tutor in class.. and i realli mean brainless.. stupid.. pissed off totally by her already.. made stupid remarks.. idioitic too.. i think she dun deserve my class totally.. stupid and moronic.. she should seriously quit being our tutor.. then was physics pract which i din managed to understand a single bit about skill A.. totally lost..

the "highlight" of the day was the talk.. my class decided to not go for the talk.. budden i had doubts whether i wanted to go anot.. but in the end decided not to but sian.. i miss the "auspicious time" to get out of skl and was trapped in skl and forced to go to the talk.. cauz teachers and counciliors blocked the gate.. reluctantly i went up to the hall onli to see xiao bai and miss ng together..both taking attendance.. miss ng saw mi and i was on the path of no return liao.. die.. went into the hall and saw miss ng.. exasperated and angry that everyone in class ponned the talk.. and also threaten to say have to call up all our parents and tok to them..

i got freaked out la.. so worried i hai the class again.. miss ng question mi about everyone but i keep saying i dun noe.. even though i knew they all pon.. but i juz cannot say that.. but at the back of her mind i think she already knew the answer.. she got that ultra black face showing her discontentment.. and i immediately knew things will get worse soon.. sat thru the whole talk.. slept most of the time.. but some parts were enriching i guess.. but couldn't catch anything cauz the speaker was too soft.. after the talk, mr chai called mi and asked if i went.. i told him everything and he said he will settle it us.. i guess everyone will noe wat he would say and do ba.. hopefully he can tide us over this crisis

haiz.. feeling damn guilty now that i went alone.. realli afraid i would get everyone in trouble.. like last time.. i realli worried.. i realli dun wan ppl to hate mi again when i juz got over things in the past.. i am realli worried.. dunno wat to do.. haizzz~~~ =(

Thursday, April 27, 2006

wat is life??? has anyone ever wondered about it??? has anyone ever thought about it??? wat does life truly means??? i guess this is a question that i have been pondering and wondering about ever this yr has started.. is life all about care and concern??? or is life all about deceit and hatred??? i realli cannot understand.. how should someone act??? how should someone behave??? how should someone speak??? how should someone express themselves??? i realli cannot understand..

i have realli been living in a life of hatred and deceit ever since this yr has started.. deceit from others.. and most importantly from myself.. i have been deceiving myself in life.. why am i deceiving myself??? i realli dun noe.. why am i hiding the true me??? i also cannot understand.. hiding behind a fake facade, locking myself within mi.. nv wanting express the true mi to others.. wat am i afraid of??? i realli dun noe.. afraid of others' opinion and how others look at mi perhaps.. being over sensitive i guess.. and i realli dun seem to be able to unleash the true mi..

whenever i try to express myself, i alwaes fail.. to an extent that i alwaes offend ppl and ppl hate mi.. ppl treat wat i say as trash, as crap.. nv seem to be able to accept wat i say.. perhaps thats why i dun wanna speak bout things anymore.. especially in skl.. i am tired.. realli tired.. whenever i say something, ppl tend to ignore mi.. and it makes mi feel bad.. i also seem to say the wrong things at the wrong time.. ppl hate mi for that.. i noe that.. they may be smiling at u but they hid their true feelings.. this is wat ppl do.. i realli dunno.. someone came to mi and told mi i was over sensitive and yet i wasn't sensitive to others' feelings.. i felt bad.. cauz it came from someone i respect.. he said he was disappointed.. so am i.. but does this mean that i will have to alwaes put on a fake smile and laugh in front of others??? when i dun even feel that its right? this is so unreal.. in fact, thats so fake..

does it means there will nv be a day when i will truly gain acceptance and can finally express the true mi??? life is really miserable to be hiding urself everyday.. life becomes routine and mundane.. life becomes meaningless.. ppl already hate mi for who i am now.. someone who nv says the right thing.. this blog.. had been a trigger to lots of commotions and hatred.. when it is the onli small avenue where i can express the true part of mi and rant on my true life.. does it mean i will nv be able to say watever i wan??? does it mean i have to carry on hiding and hiding??? i dun noe.. i realli dun noe.. and i can't seem to get a answer at all..

if i can nv get an answer for my questions, i guess hatred in mi and others towards mi will onli escalate and spiral up to nowhere.. and i will reach a point of no return.. that is to fight a nv ending losing battle.. i realli dun noe wat to do.. where can i get answers to all my doubts and worries??? i guess i may nv get an answer ba..
today is a holidae for my skl.. so din go to skl today.. woke up at 9am today and slacked in front of my computer.. after which i went to play dota with my og frend.. din receive any form of information bout my class guys de outing.. so guess they will be going out themselves.. so asked my og frend to go dota.. played for 3 hrs then went back le.. went lot 1 to rot and went home liao.. at the interchange met wei quan and found out the guys playing pool.. but decided not to go look for them cauz i would be extra.. so went home..

i guess i will be reading comics to burn my day off at home.. got 7 of them that i haven finish reading.. so i guess i will be reading them to kill time for the rest of the afternoon.. nothing better to do.. but i guess i will be studying later tonight ba.. finish some of the homework that i have and catch up on some of the work that i have left..

i guess there is nothing much for mi to update for today le ba.. guess will be juz reading comics and mugging.. end here ba.. tata.. =)

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

today is a realli slack day.. except for starting off the morning with chemistry SPA trial for skill A.. realise i realli cannot memorise the things.. din study hard enough also.. guess have to realli buck up and start studying for it liao.. then was chemistry lecture which i managed to copy all the notes and pay full attention.. then was maths lesson and the skl ended for today.. no cca cauz the skl has to be close for preparation for tml's nomination day.. after maths lessons, stayed back in skl to play chinese chess again with wei qi, jia liang and mr chai.. i din win as usual.. hahax.. mr chai and wei qi played quite alot of rounds and i think they are on par ba.. juz depending on the kind of game they playing.. hahax..

after playing chinese chess, went to jp with ppl in my class.. sticked ard with liang teck and wei qi.. but in the end went walking alone myself.. see here see there.. cauz feeling a bit extra hanging ard the others.. hahax.. then went to lot 1 and rotted again window shopping ard.. then bought a new comic to read.. too tempted.. wasted money again.. but i guess its still alright la.. cauz i started saving liao le.. hahax.. then went home to watch gundam seed.. very nice.. hahax..

tml is a holidae for my skl.. nothing much i can do i think.. sian.. except for going dota with my frend.. actually class de guys got outing de.. but guess i wun be going la.. feel that i will be extra there.. so ya..asked my og frend to play dota tml.. looking forward to it as i dun wanna rot at home tml on a holidae.. hahax.. hopefully can find something else to do after dota tml ba.. guess i'll stop here ba.. nothing else to update le.. tata..

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

today was a rather slack day.. din do much today.. had gp lessons in the morning.. watched a video about Mr Kofi Annan.. interesting la i guess.. better than listening to the teacher tok crap.. then was physics lecture which i wasn't paying much attention to.. than was civics and maths lessons.. maths lessons are realli turning benefical for mi le.. mr chai explains concept realli well and i can understand most things taught.. guess paying full attention and listening well realli helps..

then after skl was playing chinese chess with wei qi and nancy.. keep losing to them.. i guess they are realli much better players than mi.. hahax.. guess i also dun play carefully all the time.. but i still won some and its realli fun to play chinese chess.. helps mi think hard and analyse carefully.. getting addicted to it le.. hahax..

then while i was playing the last game, received a rather sudden msg from my ogl leroy to help mi collect something from photocopying shop.. couldn't complete last game with wei qi.. pai sei worx.. went help my ogl collect his stuffs and waited for him in skl.. he arrived ard 1/2 an hour later and we chatted.. realli long time nv see him le.. missing him and my og ppl alot..

then took bus with him and we chatted quite a bit on the bus.. him giving mi advice on my studies and motivating mi to work hard.. also tok about his working life.. hahax.. realli nice chatting with him.. guess its realli time for mi to start to STUDY le.. hahax.. from wat he says.. i will jia you de.. i alighted before him and he went to jurong east.. felt bad couldn't accompany him longer.. but i guess still got future chances to meet de.. i noe definitely.. meanwhile wish him all the best in everything he do and smooth sailing for his work.. jia you!!! =)

later still have to study for SPA trial tml and then do maths tutorial for discrete random variable.. hopefully can finish studying and doing hw tonight.. think i end here ba.. cya.. tata.. =)
this is supposedly yesterday's post.. din manage to publish yesterday.. hahax.. so publish today..

today as usual was another tiring day in skl.. started off with maths lecture which i was busy doing chemistry organic assignment.. then was pc where some of my class ppl took the 2.4 today.. one of them was wei qi who managed to pass this time round.. congrats!!! then was physics tutorial which mr mak din come and i was busy doing chemistry hw.. then came chemistry lesson.. got back test.. arghhh.. failed by two marks cauz saw things and analysed things wrongly.. whole page wrong.. sianzzz.. actually can pass de sia.. sian.. then miss goh started to go thru chemistry tutorial qns when i din do anyone of them cauz i was busy doing self attempt qns.. sian.. then skl ended..

after skl actually wanted to go home.. but in the end joined keat kee, chen chen and sheng long.. cauz keat kee wanted to look at bikes.. so decided i would stick along.. after which they ate lunch there.. toked alot with them and sheng long and chen chen was toking bout their plans after A levels.. whereas i was saying i would be in army after ns.. sianzzz.. but it was still enjoyable toking bout these things i think.. then went home with keat kee and chen chen.. toked cock again.. then went lot 1 buy stuffs..

now i guess i have gotten over my depression period from last time le ba.. stressed up over things.. overly sensitive too.. think the relationship between mi and my frends in class is turning for the better le.. and i am very glad about it.. but juz hope i wun do something stupid and ruin everything again.. hahax..

this thursday is nomination day for the elections.. jjc is a nomination station.. guess thursday no skl i think.. holidae!!! hahax.. hoping to go out with frends to play.. no matter dota or wat.. thinking of going out with either class ppl or og frends.. cannot realli decide yet.. difficult to decide.. sianzzz.. hopefully can have plans by then and can make a decision soon ba.. guess i will stop here ba.. having a bad headache.. tata.. =)

Sunday, April 23, 2006

another boring sunday.. tired.. rotted at home the whole day watching tv.. watched gundam seed destiny as usual in the morning.. then watched jaws in the afternoon.. which i then watched survivor exile island.. survivor is a nice reality show i think.. strategies and plots used to pit against each other and emerge victorious for the one million bucks.. hahax.. realli interesting..

actually planned to go out to buy stationaries.. but in the end decided not to and got stuck at home.. apart from going to my aunt's home which was one block away from mi.. hahax.. so i practically rotted the whole day.. onli thing i think that i did which was meaningful will be the fact that i tidied up my physics notes and file.. placed everything orderly and tidy.. but haven do any homework yet.. sian.. haiz..

guess i will start my homework later ba.. have to complete physics tutorial and practical stuffs.. plus chemistry de electrolysis tutorial and organic assignment 6.. noothing much le ba.. tata.. =)

Saturday, April 22, 2006

today rotting at home.. din go out.. din study also.. practically watching tv the whole day.. morning watch tv to evening and use com onli.. sianzzz.. hate rotting at home sia.. hate that feeling.. and also din study too.. haizzz..

woke up early in the morning onli to feel the intense muscle aches from yesterday's napfa test.. proud to say i was able to pass 4 stations.. but the consequences is intense aches and pain all over the body.. sian.. hahax.. but i guess its worth it la.. haha.. also indicate i have to train more and become fitter.. exercise a bit get muscle aches le.. like wat my mum has been telling mi this morning, she said i would suffer in ns if i cannot even take this kind of strain.. hahax.. true enough la.. guess have to train up my stamina and become more fit ba..

also tidied up my room today.. packing all the worksheets and stuffs.. the most bek cek thing to tidy is the gp notes.. so much sia.. stacks and stacks of things which seriously looked like rubbish to mi.. and i practically din fill in any of the notes cauz i think i still dun like the teacher a single bit.. but i think tis cannot go on le.. i have to work on my own instead of depending on the teacher.. she cannot help mi i think.. cauz her teaching method is too rigid and inflexible.. unreasonable too.. guess have to work on my own le.. aimming for at least a B3 at end of the year.. a bit ambitious though.. hahax..

think will be doing nothing much tonight ba.. except for perhaps trying to tidy the rest of my physics notes ba and finish my chemistry organic assignment.. hopefully tml can finish electrolysis and study for maths test next week ba.. guess i will stop here ba.. tata.. =)

Friday, April 21, 2006

today is a super tiring day.. and i mean super tiring.. today early in the morning had chemistry lecture then as usual gp lessons.. then had physics tutorial and my class went for the chinese lessons today.. watch xiang sheng in LT5.. quite interesting and funny la.. then was napfa test le.. arghhh.. the napfa test was realli damn tiring..

first started doing sit-ups.. got A cauz done 44.. then was pull-ups.. the killer.. i din managed to pass cauz i did onli 1.. sian.. then was sit and reach which i managed to reach 50cm.. but the teacher was a damn mean person la.. sarcastic and even put ppl down.. stupid de.. then was shuttle run which i managed to run 10.1 seconds and managed to get an A.. the 5 stations ended with standing broad jump which i failed.. by 5cm.. sian sia..

today's napfa test ended with 2.4km run.. the thing i was most afraid of.. i alwaes dun have perservenance to push on and put in my best.. but fotunately, liang teck ran with mi today and helped mi so much and help mi pass the 2.4km run.. we both finish at 12:32.. liang teck ran with mi throughout the whole run and motivated mi whenever i wanted to give up.. he is a realli fast and swift runner who can easily complete the run in less than 10 minutes.. but he accompanied mi and completed the run with mi.. and also helped mi pass my 2.4.. realli grateful that he helped mi today.. thanks liang teck.. one day treat u to drinks.. hahax..

i guess i passed 4 out of 6 napfa stations.. and i heard onli have to retake those which i failed if i fail onli 2.. that means i onli have to retake pull ups and standing broad jump.. this june got retest i think.. gtg train hard and pass these 2 stations even though i still have to get into obese bmt for army.. but realli hope can pass my napfa test.. guess i will try and train hard till june ba.. hopefully can lose weight again and jump further and do more pull ups..

tonight not going for badminton.. cauz too tired le.. a bit disappointed.. but nvm ba.. next time lo.. have to rest and replenish energy today.. then tml can do more things i want.. can study better.. hopefully i can catch up on my work this weekends and complete my hw for the various tutorials.. think stop here ba.. tata.. =)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

sian today as usual is a super tiring day.. got physics tutorial, maths lecture, chemistry tutorial and gp lesson.. slept in physics and maths.. dunno why.. too tired le.. then chemistry finish galvanice cell le.. going thru electrolysis next lesson.. which is a lesson which will be extended by 1 hr.. gp completed tca4 and did nothing.. lame lesson la..

workload increasing and increasing.. tml have to go thru physics de AC and capacitance tutorial.. then have to hand in OR 06 to 08 for chemistry.. and have to do some stupid gp stuffs.. which is damn lame de.. and next week still got numerical analysis test.. arghhh.. then still got so many tutorials that i have to catch up with sia.. stressed.. arghhh.. and so many things that i have to catch up with for the common test in june.. arghhh..

guess i will stop here.. too dry to update liao.. go do hw le.. tata..

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

today is wednesday again.. haiz.. time passes so quickly.. its wednesday again.. today had chemistry practical lesson in the morning.. felt realli sleepy and din listen much.. and have to redo OR 06 to 08 cauz teacher taught a new format for skill A.. haiz.. and have to hand in by friday.. sianz.. workload increasing and increasing.. then was chemistry lecture which i managed to concentrate in and understand wat the lecturers are toking about.. hahax.. and also managed to understand most things taught in maths tutorial today.. feeling quite a sense of achievement.. hahax..

after skl went for cca.. as usual had chinese calligraphy lessons in which most ppl had lost interest in and din come today.. including some of the j1s.. haiz.. a bit sad la.. cauz can see the fact that the teacher is realli trying hard to teach us and he is a nice person indeed.. and next week will be last lesson le.. i think many ppl can't wait for it to be over ba.. but i guess i realli thank the teacher for coming and making an effort to teach us chinese calligraphy.. hopefully in future when exams are over and i am free can have chances to learn again..

guess nothing much today le ba.. going lot 1 later to get some stuffs.. and have to complete my tutorials and homework later ba.. tata.. =)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

today is the slackiest day i ever had in j2.. today onli had gp lessons and physics lecture.. hahax.. nothing much for gp cauz i was listening to music and toking in class.. then was physics lecture which i realise i couldn't understand a single thing there.. then went to play basketball with the guys and then was civics and skl was dismissed then.. went jp to walk ard and wanted to look at mp3 players cauz thinking of buying one.. hahax..

thought today damn slack, but some things in civics realli struck mi and tell mi that its realli time to work hard le.. our vice principal spoke in our civics lesson in the hall.. he starting to tok about A levels and things related to A levels.. he started to tok about the options we can take if u failed our A levels.. then he begin to tok about the university admission criteria for this yr..

i realli stressed after listening to the vice principal's speech.. cauz from his presentation, i think i have roughly 27 weeks to A levels.. and minus off these and that, i think i have less than half a yr to catch up on my work and get prepared for A levels.. and the rough cut off for university is roughly 45 points.. which is 15 times my points right now..

cannot help but get worried about it.. i think that this is realli a wake up call for mi and also many j2s who were still not putting in conscientious effort to study and do work.. i guess its realli high time to start doing my tutorials and start catching up with my work liao.. i hardly got any time left till A levels le.. and i think its realli important that i change my attitude from today onwards.. guess its the onli way that i can do well for my A level exams.. like wat ppl say, this yr will pass very swiftly and quickly and it will be over in no time.. thats why i guess have to start studying liao le.. dun wanna have any regrets in future..

guess i will end here ba.. hopefully i can change my attitude from today onwards.. same to all my frends too.. jia you le!!! all the best.. =)

Monday, April 17, 2006

wat a boring monday.. morning had maths lecture which i wasn't listening to at all cauz was doing chemistry.. then was pc which was lame again.. the physics tutorial where the teacher is late again and then physics lecture which i din bring my notes and realli thought i had lost it.. then was chemistry tutorial which i can't wait for it to be over.. cauz too tired le.. then when i was going home with keat kee, liang teck and jia leong, it started to rain heavily and i got myself and my shoes wet.. arghhh.. wat an unlucky day sia.. wat a bad monday sia..

again, i was still not motivated enough to pay attention in lessons and lectures.. dunno why.. keep on getting distracted by things and cannot get things right sia.. arghhh.. realli not settling down to study hard sia and common test is coming so soon liao.. sian sia.. think so realli reflect on wat i am doing right now and try to change my study attitude and method so that i can realli do well for my studies ba..

this coming friday is napfa retest.. guess i will fail ba.. hahax.. quite expected.. dun care la.. train more for june de retest can liao i think.. go bia.. haiz.. too dry to update le i think.. life is so routine and mundane now in jc.. practically doing the same thing everyday.. haiz.. guess i end here ba.. tata..

Sunday, April 16, 2006

sian sia.. today still haven do hw.. i guess realli no motivation sia.. to do anything.. nv study nv do anything practically.. wake up watch gundam seed destiny.. quite nice and mentioned many quotes that were very true i think.. then went register for ns.. realli frustrated when registering.. the web page was practically lagging all the time and it took mi more than a hr before i could finally verify and submit everything that is required.. sian sia.. totally sian diao when registering.. but finally managed to complete everything liao..

then i was practically slacking the whole afternoon watching tv and such.. did nothing at all.. interesting thing that happen today was that the new mp who is coming to my area for elections came to poll for the coming elections.. actually i think wat they are doing are not very effective la.. 5 yrs nv see any ppl coming and asking about the residents.. until elections come then walk ard the area.. hahax.. said some things then went off le.. hahax.. quite futile i guess..

guess have to go do hw later liao.. i think i realli lack the motivation and the discipline to get myself to study and do hw.. i guess i have to learn how to do that ba.. sian.. jia you ba.. gtg le.. tata.. =)

Saturday, April 15, 2006

another fine saturday.. wake up early in the morning and watch tv again.. watch for the whole morning and afternoon.. din realli do any hw.. haiz.. guess i wasted my saturday again liao ba.. haiz.. sianz.. but i think this will be a good rest for mi to start afresh on monday ba.. hahax..

think i will complete chemistry organic assignment later tonight ba.. try to finish it so that i can spent more time on other subjects and complete the tutorials tml ba.. hopefully dun need to rush thru my hw on monday and frantically trying to get my hw done during breaks and such.. hahax.. have to catch up on maths and physics.. lagging a lot behind syllabus.. have to start revising right now so that can secure a good grade this coming common test ba..

later going to register for ns again.. final thing to do.. book a date for medical appointment and i will be done.. hahax.. going to book a date with my frend so we can go together.. but quite worried that the medical appointment date will crash with any SPA assessment that i will have on the day i book for medical appointment.. cauz the last assesment for physics and chemistry will be coming real soon.. scared have to go thru the hassle of changing dates for medical appointment again.. hopefully can book a good date ba i guess..

guess nothing else interesting happen today le ba.. wahahax.. signing off.. tata.. =)

Friday, April 14, 2006

today went dota in the morning with my og frends.. actually supposed to play with s10 de ppl de.. but chen chen told mi he ask others to play.. so i told him i not interested and dun wan to go le.. so i promised my og frend to go with them.. in the end chen chen said the others not coming le.. and ask mi to play.. but i cannot break a promise i made.. so went with my og frends.. this thing have been bothering mi a lot last night and today.. felt bad that i have to pang sei s10 de ppl.. but i guess i realli dun wanna make a empty promise ba.. so to ppl in s10 who went dota today, sorry k that i pang sei u all.. hope u all can understand.. realli sorry and pai sei..

got the realli good coms and play with some others in the lan shop.. they are quite good i guess and i din play well.. but i had fun nonetheless.. jin chang came late then in the end we waited for him cauz our time ended much earlier than his.. so saw him play with other ppl and he was damn pro i think.. use stealth assassin which reached the highest level without any death.. scary sia.. wahahax.. after which we went mac donalds for lunch and chit chat.. chatting about stuffs that happen in 1st three months.. realli fun.. great to be able to juz tok cock with them and chatting bout things happening in first 3 months.. wahahax.. then went home after that..

after going home, rested a while and went to senja and play badminton again.. hahax.. this time played 4 serious matches with the uncle there.. and din win one.. actually can win de but too tired le i guess.. haven been training seriously and playing serious matches for 4 yrs le.. and lack the stamina to last for serious games.. guess i have to train up my stamina so that i can play better next time ba.. looking forward to next friday.. so can play again.. hahax..

i guess tml will be back to mugging liao ba.. i haven been mugging and studying for a long time le.. guess i will be asking my frend out to study together ba.. hopefully we can both pick up on our studies together.. and hopefully can score 3 As together.. jia you ba.. aimming to finish chemistry assignment tml and study and do physics tutorial tml.. haha.. jia you ba.. guess i will stop here ba.. tata!!! =)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

today had physics early in the morning.. realise i din understand a single thing at all in the lesson.. mr mak gave us a qn to attempt.. but i realise i couldn't do a single bit sia.. then was maths lecture and had O.D.E de lecture test.. guess i screwed that test up again.. i could not understand wat the paper is toking about sia.. then come chemistry and i realise i was lost again.. then a ultra boring gp lesson ends my day in skl.. got back pw results also.. got band 2.. a bit disappointed though.. haiz..

i guess till now.. all these are signalling that my studies are in a mess and i am not putting in any bit of effort for all my subjects and studies.. and i have been continuously failing all my tests and such.. haiz.. guess it is all becos i realli lack the motivation to do it.. to realli study hard for my subjects.. all i do when i go home, is to watch tv.. then eat and then sleep.. i nv touch my books at all when i reach home.. then whenever in the morning, i will be frantically thinking wat to do cauz i did not complete my tutorials and hw.. then i will try to rush thru hw in skl and even do hw of some subjects in other subjects' lessons.. guess i am realli so screwed up ba..

deep inside mi, i noe that i realli wanna do well for my studies.. and i noe my parents also wan mi to do well for my studies too.. my dad was realli angry when i told him that i failed all my subjects in the progress report.. i guess beneath his anger, i think that he is also realli worried about my studies and also wan mi to do well.. but till now, i am still not putting in the effort to do it.. realli dun have the motivation to do it.. and i am realli frustrated at myself for being unable to concentrate and do well.. haiz.. wat should i do???

today our chemistry teacher was angry and told our class that if we carried on with our methods of studying for O levels, we will definitely become goners.. and i think that wat she says is so true la.. i noe our teachers are trying their best to help us in our studies too.. but i am not capitalising on wat our teacher are doing for us.. and i take many things that my teachers do for granted.. and i guess thats why i am not improving.. and i nv even make an effort to ask when i am in doubt.. which i alwaes did in sec skl.. i realli dun noe wat is happening to mi ever since i got into jc.. haiz..

i have been easily affected by stuffs lately also.. especially when i am in j2.. i am realli very sensitive towards others' perception of mi.. and i think this thing is affecting mi very much.. like wat mr chai told mi.. he said he was very disappointed with mi becos i was not sensitive towards others' feelings but on the contrary i am so sensitive.. i realli dunno.. dunno wat happen to mi.. its not that i wan to be oversensitive or wat.. but i realli dunno wat happen to mi.. and i am equally disappointed with myself like mr chai was disappointed with mi.. realli dun noe wat to do liao..

i alwaes tell my frend who is facing many problems that he should learn to let go and studies is more important than anything right now.. i alwaes tell him that no studies equals not future.. but wat am i doing??? i am not working hard for my studies at all.. and i am so disappointed and angry with myself.. i noe how to counsel other ppl but i am not doing it myself.. i realli hate myself..

guess its realli high time for mi to let go of things le ba.. time to start afresh after the long weekends.. and i mean it.. have to realli buck up.. cannot afford to fail another test or exams le.. i dun wanna disappoint my teachers, my parents and ultimately myself.. i guess its time for mi to understand this fact le ba.. and work hard for the common test in june.. jia you ba..

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

super super sian today.. think i fail my chemistry test today.. all dun noe how to do sia.. cauz NMR i not sure about the topic.. and din study much yesterday night for NMR.. then today got so many qns is based on NMR de.. and practically all i cannot do.. there is a 10 mark qn on NMR and i could not so a single bit.. die liao le.. guess i will be getting single digit for this test ba.. haiz..

today cldds as usual learn shu fa.. that is chinese calligraphy.. quite boring as usual.. hahax.. but managed to write a few words that look alright ba.. but i think most of the time i am crapping ard with the j1s and mingling with them.. quite fun la i think..

tml got another maths test.. arghhh.. stressed.. tests after tests.. so much things to cope with.. dunno when then can realli take a break and rest for a while.. haiz.. and i have to at least get a B to ensure that i can pass my maths and improve from my current F grade.. dunno whether i can do it anot.. so cannot afford to sleep like i did last night le.. din study a single bit sia.. hopefully can do well tml ba.. jia you le.. same to all my classmates too.. good luck!!! going mug le.. tata!!! =)

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

today is a rather fine day.. first time in the yr i ever wanted to listen and pay attention in a gp class.. wahahax.. today our gp teacher nv come.. wahahax.. then another young teacher came and relief our class for today's gp.. she started on the skill package and i think that she is a much much much better gp teacher than our gp teacher.. her teaching method is way better and she can explain things better than our class's gp teacher.. sianz sia.. but onli for today onli.. sianz.. have to see our class gp teacher again next lesson.. haiz.. how i wish that the relief teacher can be ur teacher for the rest of the yr instead of our current teacher.. but i still miss mr ng's lessons alot and i still think that he is the best.. wahahax.. then was physics lecture, civics and maths..

actually our class de guys are supposed to go for napfa test today de.. but many were not in the mood and some ppl were absent.. so in the end i guess we would be taking the test next week ba cauz our class din go today.. but i think i wun pass anyway even if we postpone to another day.. wahahax..

today also got back progress report.. i got "fantastic" results.. O O F.. arghhh!!! reali disappointed with my performance till this yr.. and my studies are realli hopeless up till now.. cannot afford to waste any time le.. have to catch up with all my work even from last yr.. and also have to start preparing for A levels le..

tml got a chemistry organic test.. final organic test le ba.. realli hope to get real fantastic results for this upcoming test.. so that i can push up my chemistry grades and i wun fail anymore.. hopefully i can do it ba.. jia you!!! all the best to all my frends too.. have to go mug for the test le.. got 101 reactions to memorise.. tata.. =)

Monday, April 10, 2006

today is monday.. as usual, boring and mundane.. early in the morning got maths lecture which i could hardly concentrate and hardly listen to the lecture.. but managed to copy all the notes and i think i will try to understand the notes again ba.. then was pc where our class de guys were supposed to pace the girls for their napfa test for 2.4.. but all of the rest were reluctant to do it and so i followed suit though i wanted to help la.. anyway i can't run fast too.. wahahax.. sianz.. then was physics lecture, tutorial and chemistry tutorial..

after skl, i actually wanted to do chemistry de organic assignment 4 de.. but went LT4 listen to wei xiang, esther, cheng joo and ching ting sing in preparation for their talentime auditions.. they sang realli well i think.. and their voice were realli good.. enjoyed listening to them sing and prepare for their talentime.. but i think may have said some contradicting stuffs there ba.. haiz.. sorry ppl.. but nonetheless i think they will be able to do fine and i hope all the best for their auditions for talentime.. jia you ba.. all the best!!!

however b4 i went to the LT, i met mr chai on the way and he told mi he had read my blog and told mi that i was disappointing.. realli dunno wat he meant by disappointing.. did i do or say anything wrong??? maybe ba i may have said some things wrong.. but dunno wat he realli meant.. was it my grumbles about my studies that he had read that he arrived at wat he told mi??? i realli dunno leh.. this thing have been affecting mi the whole afternoon.. dunno wat to do also.. hopefully can get some answers from him soon ba.. haiz~~~

later have to go finish organic assignment 4 and finish my maths hw.. have to do on my own le.. have to catch up on my work.. and also have to mug and mug for wednesday test tonight cauz tml got napfa test and dun realli have time to study tml cauz i think i will be too tired by then liao.. haiz.. guess have to finish studying most topics by tonight ba.. jia you.. and all the best to all the guys taking napfa test tml.. jia you and all the best.. hahax.. though i will definitely fail tml.. hahax.. tata.. =)

Sunday, April 09, 2006

slacking throughout the whole day.. nv study at all.. sian.. morning wake up watch tv again.. favourite show gundam seed destiny.. hahax.. then spent the whole afternoon registering for ns.. quite troublesome.. and a bit laggy also.. ma fan sia.. so many things that need to be filled in and to be declared.. sianzzz.. managed to complete everything except for booking the time for medical appointment.. guess i will do it tml ba..

haiz.. time realli passes so quickly sia.. it was last yr december that i was thinking of receiving the letter to register for ns.. now time passes so quickly.. its already april and i have to register for ns le.. and 7 months later, i have to take my A level papers and eventually after i finish my exams, its will be time to enter ns le.. guess there may onli be 2 weeks or even less than one week after exams i have to go ns le.. cauz of the extra obese bmt i have to go thru.. hahax.. and even rite now, time is passing so swifting.. every minute and every second is passing so quickly.. guess i realli have to learn how to grasp and spent every minute and second wisely from now on.. so that in future i will have no regrets like i have no tried my best for studies and have not time enough time for family and frends.. guess there is still a long way for mi to go to learn all these things ba..

tml will be skl again.. guess have to start afresh from tml onwards.. think i have been saying this all the while.. but i think its realli high time for mi to change my study attitude and work hard towards A levels le.. jia you ba.. tata!!! =)
A Grey Bear With A Blue Nose?
The Tatty Teddy Story

Official Story. Written by Miranda. Actual book illustrated by Steve Mort-Hill

The oldest, smallest house you can imagine was about to be knocked down.All the things that once made the house nice and cosy had been thrown outside and piled up in the front garden, from the soft springy bed the owners slept in, to the old wooden floorboards they used to walk on...and even...surely by some mistake...a little brown teddy bear.

He was trapped amongst all the other unwanted things, and couldn't move.Then, one day...a very, very cold day, something fell from the sky......a little snowflake.
It landed on the teddy bear's little nose and was then followed by many more.He began to get cold, very cold indeed.

More and more snow fell, heavier and heavier.The little bear was now so cold that his nose started turning blue......
so cold that his brown fur started turning grey.He was cold, unloved and all alone in the world, and felt very, very sad.
Winter finally passed and the weather got warmer, and, one beautiful spring day, a little girl was playing near the old house, when she spotted the grey bear in the pile of unwanted things.

He was like no other bear she had ever seen, and she pulled him out from where he was trapped.
She dusted him down and lifted him high in the sky to look at him.
"A grey bear...with a blue nose?"
She thought.
"How strange!"
The teddy bear wanted to cry. He thought she didn't like him and would throw him back with the other unwanted things.
"But he's lovely!" she continued and she fell completely in love with him.

She ran home as fast as her little legs would carry her to see if her Grandma could patch him up, as a lot of his stuffing had fallen out, and he was very much in need of repair.

She looked on has her Grandma replaced his stuffing and patched up his holes.His stitches has started showing where his fur had worn away, but little girl thought he looked perfect.

It was all cosy and warm in the little girl's house and the bear now felt cosy and warm in his heart. However, his nose was still blue and his fur was still grey, and they would never return to brown. He was unique amongst teddy bears.The little girl gave him a great big hug. She loved him more than anything else in the world...her little, grey, blue-nosed...tatty teddy.


nice story i think.. hahax.. searching thru the net and found this.. quite touching also.. realli din noe about this story untill i got interested bout tatty bear and went to search.. got inspired by some things illustrated in the story.. i guess many a times ppl and even mi take many things for granted and dun appreciated many things ard us.. like i nv realise that there exist such a story in this world.. we are taking many things for granted and we nv realise this.. also i thought that wat the story showed also quite true.. many times in life, a we juz need to show someone some care and concern and it is able to make them happy and lighten up their day.. guess there is much more for mi to learn ba.. hahax.. =)

Saturday, April 08, 2006

today woke up rather late.. was realli tired from yesterday.. hahax.. guess realli too long nv train badminton le.. thats why all the aches and pains are coming from.. hehex.. guess have to juz exercise and train more in future.. then watch kids central de shows.. wahahax.. a bit stupid la, but nonetheless fun to watch.. watch yugioh pokemon zach bell and masked rider.. hahax.. all quite nice actually.. especially masked rider and yugioh i think.. hahax..

then i asked my frend to go play dota together.. hahax.. quite fun actually.. learnt how to use new hero and i think i got improve a bit le.. but still very lousy i think.. hahax.. actually we intended to study while waiting for com de.. but in the end din study and we toked and chit chat alot.. but nvm i guess.. cauz have to relax a bit ba.. but i think i too slack le also.. have to be more strict and stringent towards my studies and my attitude le.. hopefully next time can realli get down to studies instead of chit chatting.. hahax..

went home then watch tv again.. hahax.. guess my saturdays seem to be for play and tv onli.. hehex.. guess have to incorporate studies into my saturdays in future.. this yr is realli a important yr.. cannot afford to slack le.. and from the trama i got from my physics SPA yesterday, i guess i have to work triply or even hundred times harder to score and do well at the end of the yr.. so that i wun come back next yr onli to get myself disappointed and blame myself for not trying and working harder..

next week got 2 important tests.. though it may be juz a test, but i am realli taking them seriously.. cauz i realli wanna see if i have improved anot.. after trying my best to study.. though not realli my very best.. but got make attempts le.. aimming for at least a B for both my maths and chemistry tests.. hopefully i can do well ba.. jia you lo.. same to all my frends too.. good luck!!! guess i will end here.. tata!!! =)

Friday, April 07, 2006

so.. juz now in late afternoon met my best pal joel at lot 1.. hahax.. passed him the birthday gift and hopefully he will like it.. hahax.. then we went library and chit chat and tok.. hahax.. realli fun toking to him.. and we long time nv meet le.. so very happy we met and managed to tok with him.. hahax.. guess he is the onli person that i realli realli trust and believe ba.. hahax.. we joked a lot at the library and shared thoughts with each other.. hahax..

after that we strolled ard lot 1 looking at different stuffs.. hahax.. then when its late le, we went back home.. hahax.. he wanted to give mi a ride home trying out some new stunts.. but i din dare.. hahax.. in the end i rided him to my home and invited him to my house.. hahax.. watched tv together and tok together again.. damn fun.. hahax.. then it was ard 7 plus that he went home.. and i was going to senja there to play badminton.. today realli had fun with my best buddy.. hehex.. hopefully next time when we both free can go out play and have fun again.. hehex..

after my best buddy went home, i took LRT to senja station to meet ho hin to go to the place where we play badminton.. hehex.. i was late cauz was held up becos i miss the previous LRT.. then we went there play badminton.. it was in a primary skl.. the place is quite big and spacious.. but juz that too many bugs and flying insects ard le.. a bit irritated when playing.. hahax.. at first was playing there and din realli have much of a kick.. then an old gentleman came and i saw him play.. he is damn pro.. he evn ask mi to stroke with him.. hahax.. stroked for ard 45 minutes to 1 hr.. hahax.. and i confirmed that he is realli good and pro.. had alot of fun and kick stroking with the old gentleman.. guess he might be a badminton coach or wat la.. he also asked mi to go next friday to play again and i am looking forward to it.. hahax.. can train and have fun again.. hehex.. and also a form of relieving stress ba..

guess thats all for today ba.. going dota with my og frend tml ba.. hahax.. and study together too.. next week got maths and chemistry test.. have to jia you and study hard le.. so can pass and even score good grades.. hahax.. good luck to all my frends taking the tests too.. jia you and good luck!!! thats all le ba.. hahax.. nitez nitez.. =)
sian.. today i think i flunked physics spa.. the whole thing must be a conspiracy of education.. to make ppl flunk it.. conspiracy to torture jc students mentally and physically.. today whole spa was damn stupid.. spent so much time thinking of a suitable scale for my graph.. in the end totally no time to do the calculations.. sian diao.. onli managed to calculate gradient and write for skill D onli.. damn it.. surely cannot do well de la.. sian sia.. dunno how.. somemore it is part of the 20% of A level exams.. damn it.. gone case le la mi.. have to pia now for the last skill A which is double the weightage and for the remaining 80% of the actual written paper.. thinking about it, i think i would be happy if i could even get a B at end of the yr for A level.. arghhh.. stupid spa..

then went play soccer after skl cauz no chinese lessons and then whole class dun realli wanna go pc and i think better not go alone anymore ba.. so went home with the rest and went lot 1 buy present for my best pal.. hahax.. haven buy finish yesterday..

will be meeting my best pal later and pass him the gift i bought.. hopefully he will like it.. and at night will go play badminton with my og ppl.. looking forward to it.. release some stress from the failure of my spa.. arghhh.. guess will update later again tonight ba.. tata.. =)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

shall have a short post ba i think.. cauz tml is SPA exam.. have to chiong and study if i wanna do well.. nothing much today.. juz lessons and lessons.. physics tutorial, maths lecture, chemistry tutorial and gp.. as usual gp very sian de.. hahax..

today went home with my frends after very long le.. long long time nv take bus and train with them le.. hahax.. enjoyed the ride very much i think.. saw wui siong and michelle when we went to JE library.. hahax.. then went to lot 1 to buy my best buddy de birthday present.. no time to meet up with him this week.. hopefully can meet him next thursday ba.. hahax.. and wish him happy belated birthday.. hahax..

guess have to end here le.. going off to study soon.. all the best to all my frends taking physics SPA tml and may everyone pass and do well with flying colours.. good luck!!! =)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

today was a good day.. very early dismissed le.. wahahax.. chemistry pract, chemistry lecture and maths tutorial and then end of skl.. actually got cca de.. but then got some things that i need to do with my family cauz today was a special occassion for all the chinese.. so went home early and din go cca after i got the teacher's permission.. actually cca also quite fun.. hahax.. can see new j1s students in cldds.. fun toking to them also.. wahahax.. but then today realli have to go back early so couldn't go cca.. hahax..

spent the whole day with family members.. today is the onli time the whole family of my father's side gathered together apart from chinese new yr.. realli fun to get together with them.. though not realli close to some of them, but i still like the feeling when the whole family gets together..

then after everything i went to lot 1 to buy comic and then after which i went get cd from my senior who is going ns this friday.. if not cannot get back soon le.. wahahax.. chat with him for a while.. its alwaes fun chatting and tok cock with him.. wahahax.. and i wanna wish him all the best and good luck for ns.. jia you!!! take care also.. hehex..

2 days later will be SPA exam le.. very worried cannot do well and realli dun have confidence cauz my class will be the first class doing the exam.. scared sia no matter how prepared i am.. arghhh.. guess have to jia you ba.. hahax.. have been repeating this over and over again.. hopefully can realli encourage myself ba.. wahahax.. guess have to do hw and study liao.. tata.. =)

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

today is also a rather slack day.. got gp in the morning which is as usual very boring.. then was physics lecture.. later break was civics lesson and miss ng seems weird today in class.. dunno why la.. and was maths tutorial then end of skl le..

today went to gym with wei xiang, wei qi, jia liang and liang teck.. we went to train for napfa.. though i think i surely cannot pass de and i already prepared myself for early ns le.. going into ns once i finished my A level exams i think.. did quite a bit of training.. running on treadmill, training arms and legs all these.. reached there ard 4 and went off at ard 5.. cauz too tired le.. hahax.. after training and running.. quite fun i think.. cauz i long long long time nv go out with my classmates le.. be it go play or wat.. dunno la.. then today finally went out with my frends and went gym train together.. realli fun la.. after gym we went eat kfc.. sian.. all the calories lost are gained back again.. and i gained back 1kg le.. arghhh... think have to work hard and train again ba.. and to lose more and more weight.. if not next time ns or health will suffer..

today realli had quite alot of fun.. joking ard with them.. hahax.. long time nv laugh le i think.. from dunno how long ago.. maybe a few weeks or even months le.. haven truly laughed or had fun ba.. realli happy today.. hopefully next time can go again with my frends and train together again.. hahax..

anyway guess i have to catch up with my hw and such le.. tons and tons of tutorials to be completed.. and piles and piles of notes to be read and understood.. also SPA exam this friday.. jia you ba.. tata.. =)

Monday, April 03, 2006

today is another quiet day in class.. and realli enjoyed the quietness very much and i think i learn better today.. today's pc was damn slack.. pull-ups, standing board jump then sit-ups then release le.. guess today is the easiest training the teacher had given to anyone ba.. then was physics tutorial which i almost slept in class.. felt quite bad cauz mr mak was trying hard to teach.. sorry mr mak.. then was physics lecture..

during physics lecture, it was first the briefing for this friday's spa.. then mr kwok suddenly took over and told us about the university admission criteria.. for A is 20 points and B is 18 points.. was mr kwok said was very true and it is realli a reminder and warning to myself that i have to work hard now le.. i aimming for at least a A B B for my A level subjects and hopefully can get a B3 for my gp.. that means my aim for this yr's score is 60 to 62 points if possible.. and i realli hope that i can achieve this score.. mr kwok said its realli time for us to work hard and i think its essential to start working hard now for mi to catch up with my last yr's and this yr's work.. hopefully i can do so ba..after physics lecture was break and chemistry tutorial.. i stayed back in skl and managed to finish assignment 3 on my own.. hahax.. then slack in skl and went home with my juniors.. realli fun and enjoyable toking to them..

today also announced that the common test for jc2 is starting on the 20th of june.. i guess its high time to start preparing now le ba if i wanna do well.. ultimately its for my own good.. and i guess i realli have to change my attitude towards studies cauz i din realli put in the effort to study hard as yet.. jia you ba..

next week got test for both maths and chemistry.. one day after the other.. and i guess i have to start studying so can try to aim for B or even a A.. i believe i can de.. and everyone i noe can too.. jia you everyone.. we will work together and strive for excellence.. good luck!!! =)

Sunday, April 02, 2006

gundam seed destiny is such a damn cool show la.. cannot afford to not watch it liao.. some things it says also quite true in our lives.. quote from my frend who quoted from the show "People often cry as they feel that they are powerless, however, if they have the power in their hands, they will be the ones making others cry." by Athrun Zala.. i think this quote is so damn true la..

many a times ppl will blame others for being guilty to inflict pain and hurt others.. but in another light, we dun realise that some things that we all do have the power and ability to hurt others.. we often feel powerless and feel very bad whenever someone says something bad about us.. and we often blame others for doing such things.. but on the other hand, ppl often neglect the fact that some things that we all do also hurt others and make the person miserable.. thats why i feel that this quote is so true..

sometimes, i often get too insistent on my point.. and that is my weakness perhaps.. jl also feels the same way and told mi about this ytd nite.. i was thinking thru the whole nite troubled.. guess i finally understood le ba.. there is no point insisting on some things that i say.. and i have to learn to accept things and comments that others make.. it often takes both hands to clap..

i also noe that sometimes i do some things that i deem right and wun hurt anyone.. but many a times some ppl cannot take wat i say ba.. guess its juz that different ppl have different characters and there are different limits ppl can take the things that others say.. i guess i have to learn to be more sensitive towards other's feelings ba.. i admit that i am very sensitive towards others' perception of mi.. and i realli dun wan ppl to have the negative perception of mi.. but many times the things i do would juz leave a negative impression of mi and its alwaes difficult to let someone change the perception of u juz overnight.. i guess i also have to work on that ba.. to learn to accept..

i think that everyone makes mistakes in their lives.. and no one can deny this fact.. ppl are no saint and ppl alwaes makes mistakes in their lives.. i guess wat mr fei said in 1st 3 months is realli very true.. "to err is humane, to forgive is divine".. i guess the most important part of lives is this.. to make a mistakes and learn to correct ourselves.. and also to be able to have a magnanimious heart to forgive someone who made a mistake.. and i guess i have to learn to be forgiving and not blame others anymore cauz wat they did wasn't intentional i guess.. and i hope others forgive mi for wat i did last yr or this yr ba..

ultimately, i think that time is the crucial factor in everything.. time to accept and time to change.. time to heal the wound and time to forgive ba.. i guess thats wat i have to do and learn ba.. ppl grow and learn from mistakes..

guess have to start working hard le ba.. A levels start at 2/11.. exactly 7 months away.. and have to start working hard for my subjects le.. i saw some imporvement in my subjects after some hard work.. and i believe i can do even better if i work hard too.. to all my frends and classmates who had not been getting satisfactory results, work harder and i think we we be able to do well for everything.. all the best and jia you!!! =)

Saturday, April 01, 2006

guess i realli have to clear some things up liao.. think some of the things i said and commented made some ppl uneasy or wat..

first i have to admit that i do go overboard saying some things.. and i noe that i am wrong.. and i sincerely apologise to ppl who i offended.. but realli do wan ppl to noe that i had made my best effort to change myself and stop crapping and joking about ppl.. but no matter how hard someone tries.. he or she cannot change totally de.. and i realli dun wanna transform myself into someone totally different from who i am.. thats why i still joke sometimes but i realli try to control myself.. and i realli hope ppl can sometimes tolerate and accept mi..

secondly i also wanna say that not that i am angry with ppl or wat.. but sometimes i realli cannot take it when some things.. when sometimes i joke about things, they are mostly untrue and i will be glad to stop it if someone can juz tell mi to shut up.. but about the gp teacher thingy, i realli cannot take it.. i think everyone in s14 would noe the comment that our gp teacher made to mr chai.. and he have been making such a silly comment and crapping in watever things related to gp to mi.. imagine u being bugged by a teacher at morning assembly to ask u to go entertain a teacher u dun realli like.. will u like it? sometimes the class even adds into the fun.. imagine u were mi on thursday.. being laughed at for at least ten minutes.. how would u take it? and someone even ask u to beg the teacher to come back and the whole class laugh about it.. will u feel good??? and this thing have been going on for at least a few weeks.. how would u feel??? will u hate gp like mi?? i bet u will ba.. and i had hardly been saying anything about it.. i hope that ppl can understand that it realli hurts inside mi.. not that i dun wan to give our gp teacher a chance or wat.. but imagine a comment she made can cause mi so much probs.. can u possibly like her???

third i have been posting all these posts to juz rant on some things that are unhappy in my life.. its becos i realli cannot tok to ppl sometimes becos of my unique character which most ppl are unable to accept.. thats why i choose to keep a blog and say some things to make mi feel better within mi sometimes.. and it realli made mi feel better this way.. if anything or comment i made makes anyone of u uneasy or unhappy.. once again i apologise sincerely and i realli hope u ppl can give mi some time to improve and change myself..

about ppl being able to take jokes anot, i also wanna say something again.. i noe that i made alot of silly jokes last yr and i wasn't able to consider many ppl de feelings.. and i had been thinking thru the whole of last yr.. and i feel bad i said some stupid things sometimes.. thats why i tried my best not to joke anymore in lessons and such.. and start to listen to lessons.. but sometimes ppl joke about mi and i treat as really a joke and i dun take to heart.. so i realli wish that ppl can forgive mi to anything i done wrong and give mi a chance to gain ur acceptance.. and all i need is a little time..

and all the things that i have posted regarding the hypocrite thingy.. i wasn't out to target the whole class.. but those ppl who juz come to my blog and scold mi without letting mi noe who u are.. i will feel better if u put down ur name and scold mi.. at least i noe who doesn't like some things that i do and i can change.. imagine u are the one being scolded at without knowing who is unhappy about u.. will this trouble u???

all i wanna say is that i realli need some time to change and improve myself.. and i need some tolerance and forgiveness to some things i do no matter it is last yr or this yr.. but i realli wish that everyone are willing to give mi the chance and accept mi.. hope that this will clear most of the things up..
nothing better to do for the whole day.. sianz.. watch tv in the morning and afternoon and have been using com all the time today blogging.. guess i will be watching tv for the whole afternoon also ba.. nothing better to do sia.. and today frend not free cannot go dota together.. sianz..

have been blogging many unhappy things all the time.. and i think many ppl who dislike mi have many comments that they wanna make on mi.. i admit there may be sometimes where i make mistakes and i go overboard when i do some things.. and i apologise for all these mistakes i made..

recently there are some ppl whu are really unhappy about mi and came here to somehow flame mi.. using some stupid nicks and such.. and i am sure that i noe these ppl.. to all these ppl, i wanna say i look down on u all.. though i may not be a good person or wat.. and u all may think that i simply sux as a person, but i juz feel u all are hopeless hypocrites.. stabbing ppl at the back and acting in the dark.. using some idiotic nicks hoping to gain some courage to flame someone.. u all are juz simply hopeless.. if u dare juz come to my face and tell mi my mistakes and ask mi to change.. n i will gladly accept wat u say and change.. some ppl have already told mi wat they dislike bout mi and i really appreciate wat they tell mi.. dun act in the sly and try to flame someone liddat.. this shows very much of ur character.. plz pluck up some courage and tell it to my face and stop acting like a coward.. thanks alot.. i am also sure that some ppl whom i have not offended are very unhappy about wat i say and i do.. plz la.. if things dun concern u plz juz shut up and dun do anything.. i will gladly appreciate that..

and also to some ppl feeling uneasy and unhappy that i am complaining in my blog.. plz jolly well dun read my blog then.. its totally none of ur business when i am ranting and complaining about my life.. get out of my blog if u dun like wat i say.. no one will force u to read something u dun like.. get a life man.. thats all i have to say..

physics SPA is on next friday.. have to study hard to do well ba.. here i wish all my frends taking the physics SPA all the best and good luck.. jia you!!!