a song my junior juz sent mi.. very nice.. Last request by Paolo Nutini..



here's the lyrics..

Slow down, lie down, remember it's just you and me
Don't sell out, bow out, remember how this used to be
I just want you closer is that alright, baby let's get closer tonight

Grant my last request and just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there, lay down beside me

Now I've found, that I'm bound, to wander down that one-way road
And I realise all about your lies, but I'm no wiser than the fool that I was before
I just want you closer is that alright, baby let's get closer tonight

Grant my last request and just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there, lay down beside me

Baby, baby, baby, tell me how can, how can this be wrong?
Grant my last request and just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there, lay down beside me
One last time let's go there, lay down beside me

OMG.....

haizZz.. onli 10 days left till NS liao le.. this feeling sux.. realli realli sux man.. from last night thinking till today.. there are so many things i haven accomplish yet.. and there are so many things i wanna do before NS.. but time is realli running out for mi.. i can hardly do anything in this short ten days..

but i think i will look on a brighter side.. 10 days.. seems short.. but there is still time.. better than nothing.. now that i am free from my job, i can realli get down to plan stuffs and outings.. there are so many ppl i wanna meet.. it has been so long so long since i have met some of my frends liao le.. realli miss them so much..

yesterday went for dinner with my study buddies liao le.. hahax.. so great.. at least i managed to meet a group of great pals i realli wanted to meet.. there are still so many frends i wanna catch up with.. think its time i take a step and go plan outings already..

1) outing with my very own og 28.. miss everyone of them to bits..
2) go out with my sec skl buddies joel and dinesh..
3) meet up with my best best junior xun kai..
4) chill out with my senior zi cheng
5) catch up with zhen lin, wei xia and vincent they all..
6) visit my colleagues at westmall..
7) have dinner with my family..

haiyo.. so many things to do.. need to prepare my buddy de bdae present also.. hahax.. some other things also.. haiyo.. sianzZz.. time is running out!!! hope i can finish wat i wanna do before NS.. hope i realli do.. think gtg le.. have to go apply for teacher liao le.. and might be going swimming later with joel.. flying off!!!

woohoo..

2 straight days going out.. hahax.. thursday went for bbq at my colleague ky house.. lol.. the bbq was still alrights.. juz that atmosphere wasn't right.. aiya.. dunno la.. was moody during the bbq.. thinking bout lots of stuffs.. din play much also.. hahax.. so bad.. din go and have fun with my colleagues..

after the bbq tonned at ky place for the night.. watched dead or alive the movie.. super stupid movie.. lame de.. fight from the start till the end.. no plot de.. lol.. then after the movie reggie, melvin, kwang yee and shi hua fell asleep.. onli left mi zhen lin and vincent awake.. hahax.. chatted the whole night and played cards to entertain ourselves the whole night.. hahax.. its so nice toking and chatting with them.. realli feel there is a connection there with them..

in the morning went play bball at ky house there de bball court.. fun but reggie got injured.. but ok le.. then sent reggie off cauz he going SP.. actually going with him de but his frend going with him so decided not to go.. hahax.. actually wanted to go back liao le budden in the end jumped into the swimming pool and swam for a while.. wahahax.. after that went boon lay have breakfast with xia and go home liao..

yesterday sleep for like 4 plus hours when i reached home.. then woke up and prepare to go out again with my jc study buddies.. actually nazi and bin hao coming de.. but nazi mum got sick and bin hao decided to ps us.. sianzZz.. so onli mi, yvonne and hao chun met up.. lol..

went town to find yvonne cauz she at taka.. reached there le but in the end cannot find her.. lol.. so retarded.. kept making calls to find where she is.. hahax.. in the end still found her.. there was a sudden change of plans and in the end we decided to go suntec makan.. met hao chun at city hall mrt.. hahax..

so went makan at suntec city.. went secret recipe for dinner.. hahax.. the food was nice.. not bad.. i had grilled chicken rice and a choc cheese cake.. uper nice the cheese cake.. hao chun had stewed lamb and von had fish and chips.. chatted during the dinner and it was so fun.. long time no chat with them le.. hahax.. realli like the past during study period.. hahax.. after the dinner we decided to go visit nazi at her place.. lol.. bought her a white choc cake from secret recipe.. lol..

chatted alot with them in the night.. it was so so so good.. the feeling is simply great.. like last time we used to be chatting in skl.. hahax.. so fun.. shared my troubles with them and i realli felt so so so good.. relieved in fact.. with my frends listening to my troubles and i seem to be relieved a bit of my burden.. hahax.. thanks guys for making my day.. hopefully still got chance to go out have fun again after my bmt.. hahax..

its like 10 days till my NS liao le.. still got so many many things i have not completed.. and so many things i have not learnt how to let go.. sianzZz.. hate this feeling.. it sucks..army means my freedom, my time and my frends.. realli dun wish to lose any of my frendships.. haizZz.. i hope i wun.. cauz i will try my best to hold on tight.. and i think i have to realli try to let go of things before i go NS.. sianzZz.. hopefully i can..

life is not about the number of breaths we take, but the moments which take our breaths away.. realli glad i have so many memorable times with my frends..hope i will keep in contact with them still.. think i will end here ba.. very very tired.. flying off!!!

学会了放手，才能够得到真正的自由...

Goodbye Sakae..

today is my last day in sakae liao le.. very last day le.. it marks the end of my stay in sakae westmall le.. lots of emotions going thru mi.. having mixed feelings today when i left.. hahax.. happy that i no longer have to shou qi anymore.. but realli sad to be leaving my bunch of super great colleagues..

dunno how to say leh.. joined as a promoter in dec.. then decided to stay in service crew.. many a times i wanted to quit and resign.. cauz realli hate the job.. getting scolded and yelled at for nothing most of the time.. but its realli the bunch of great colleagues i have that kept mi going.. realli forged so many great friendship in my stay in sakae..

actually din expect to make so many frends de.. cauz its still a job and i thought ppl will realli be like juz colleagues.. but wat i experienced is totally different from wat i reckon to be.. i realli made a great bunch of frends in sakae.. we are a united team of ppl.. and alwaes go out have fun also.. lol.. had lots of memories in sakae.. most of it are good ones and becos of my colleagues.. the fun and joy i had spending my time with them is realli limitless.. lol..

realli lots of ups and downs in my course of work.. results and lots of probs troubling mi.. but whenever i go out with my colleagues, i can forget bout the troubles i had for the time being and have fun with them.. realli realli grateful to have known everyone in sakae westmall..

here would realli like to take this opportunity to thank all my colleagues i worked with.. melvin, reggie, ben, linda, xue pan, jing shi, amanda, anna, shi hua, kwang yee, caseline, agnes, hock yong, wei xia, zhen lin, vincent and yih pei.. if u all happen to read this, realli thank you guys for making my stay in sakae a memorable and enjoyable one.. appreciate u guys tons..

realli hope can still keep in contact with everyone.. though it is a difficult task cauz i going NS soon le, but i will still try my best to hold on to the friendships that i have forged with everyone.. thats mi.. hahax.. hope i will not lose any of these friendship with my colleagues.. here wanna thanks everyone in sakae westmall again and hope everyone will take care.. all the best in everything.. i will visit u guys when i am free.. lol.. think i will stop here ba.. if not getting more and more emo.. might cry later.. lol.. flying off!!! =)

sianzZz.. feeling itchy all over my body.. having rashes.. think i am realli allergic to alcohol ba.. feeling so terrible right now.. hopefully the rashes will subside soon ba.. cannot afford to let my parents noe i drank.. sure kanna till jia liat jia liat.. anyone has any methods can help mi make my rashes subside??? sianzZz..

today registered for uni liao le.. dunno wats the results ba.. still have to complete the application for teacher.. hopefully can finish soon ba.. lol.. then paid for the application fee liao le.. haizZz.. totally broke this month liao le.. no money to spend at all le.. sianzZz.. still got so many outings and dinner to go to.. hahax.. sianzZz..

tml is my very last day at work liao le.. working full tml.. so fast.. my last day le.. it was onli like yesterday when i juz started work.. think shall blog more tml ba.. think ending here liao le.. got important stuffs to do now.. flying off!!!

back from chalet!!!

hahax.. back from chalet liao le.. it was nice.. lol.. though din have bbq budden it is still great.. had quite a lot of fun at the chalet.. lol.. yesterday supposed to meet at JE at 2pm.. hahax.. in the end turned up late cauz happened to met the rest of them and took train together.. so were late together.. lol..

reached je ard 2 plus.. then took the train to pasir ris.. sianzZz.. it was such a long trip.. hahax.. luckily had jokes going among us that kept us going during the trip.. then took bus at pasir ris to coasta sands resort.. lol.. checked into our chalet which was upgraded cauz the ppl who came yesterday were more than expected.. hahax..

some of them started playing PS2 and the rest strolled ard the chalet.. i joel and wei da decided to rent a bike overnight cauz we actually intended to do night cycling.. but in the end rented 2 bikes cauz wei da was going to go off in the morning and he decided to share with joel.. cycled together with wei da along the beach and it was ard sunset de time liao.. hahax.. took lots and lots of pictures of the sunset.. hahax.. shall upload some here.. lol..

nice scenery..

trees from below.. lol..

nearing sunset..

sun set liao le.. night sky.. so beautiful..

was strolling along the beach and chatting with wei da and joel.. hahax.. joel happened to find a plastic cup.. inside contain 2 jellyfish sia.. wth.. hahax.. someone actually caught the jellyfish and placed them in a plastic cup.. we dig a hole to bury the cup halfway so that the jellyfish can escape when the tide comes.. hahax.. took a picture too..

notice??? the jellyfish is in the cup.. lol

after walking along the beach, went back to the chalet.. ppl there were wei siong, wye huong, chak yong, kent.. they playing PS2 there.. hahax.. somehow we starting chatting bout our life in singapore and the pros and cons in singapore.. it was a very interesting chat among all of us.. first time the ppl in 4/8 discussed bout these kind of stuffs.. hahax.. guessed we all all grew up le.. also started reminisicing bout sec skl days and joking bout the teachers weird gestures.. lol..

mi and joel went to pack dinner for the guys in the chalet at kfc after the long chat cauz we had bikes and it would be very fast.. hahax.. bought 2 party meals and a meal for wee boon.. lol.. cycle all the way to kfc and back.. lol.. having a bike in a chalet is so much convenient.. had dinner and we all carried on playing in the chalet.. also did night cycling with wei siong and joel.. hahax.. night cycling is so so so fun..

its ard midnight we all decided to drink something nice.. hahax.. vodka.. wahahax.. heard wee boon they all bought it.. Absolut vodka.. hahax.. alcohol 40%.. woots.. first time ever in my life i drank.. wahahax.. had ard 4 to 5 cups of vodka mixed with ribena and soda water.. also had ard 2 cups of pure vodka.. sianzZz.. 2 cups of pure 40% worx.. cauz joel offered mi as he kept taking pure ones.. hahax..

cycled together with joel along the beach and drinking as well.. hahax.. got a bit tipsy.. but not drunk.. cauz i am totally conscious of myself and i noe wat i am doing.. hahax.. for a first time its consider quite good le ba.. lol.. budden i think joel had a bit too much liao le.. got drunk.. he felt realli uncomfortable for the night and we all took turns to take care of him.. but he was fine by daybreak..

the liquor we drank.. lol..

in the morning wei da went back first cauz he had skl and the rest of us rotted and stayed till 10 plus to check out.. i and joel went back to the beach again and saw it was low tide.. can see so many things we cannot see during high tide.. nature is juz so amazing.. lol.. we all had breakfast at mac and then took the train back home.. its a long journey again.. everybody slept.. lol..

its was a fun chalet for mi.. could catch up with all my frends i had not seen for so long liao le.. hahax.. had alot of fun.. and could realli forget bout the worries i have for the past few days while playing.. hahax.. its simply great.. and recover some things i had lost in the past.. hahax.. so happy.. it was a great chalet to mi.. lol.. think i will end here ba.. quite tired le.. have to register for uni later i think.. flying off!!! =)

off to chalet liao le.. hahax.. shall blog on it when i am back.. lol.. flying off!!! take care my frends!!! =)

haizZz.. was moody for the whole of last night and today.. thinking so so much about wat i have said.. and thinking so much about my personality.. i felt so so so bad.. i realli sux man.. i realli dunno how to face my frends already.. most importantly myself.. am i realli too rigid in my thinking??? am i so inflexible??? i think i realli am..

i hate it.. today i revert back to my old self again.. coping myself up at a corner to think bout stuffs.. realli trying hard to forget wat i did.. though i noe at the back of my mind escapism does not help in solving a problem.. and it realli doesn't help cauz i haven got a answer yet..

i am scared.. i am worried.. i am terrified.. i dun wanna lose an important part of my life anymore.. i realli hate it.. i realli dunno wat to do.. i dunno wat to say also.. thousands of apologies and saying a million times of sorry will nv help.. cauz wat is done is done.. damage is done.. and the scar will forever be there..

wat i can do i have done.. wat i can try to explain i had attempted.. i can onli leave it to fate to decide liao le.. wat will happen is already destined.. i believe in destiny.. but i do hope destiny is kind to mi this time round.. and i hope everything will be fine soon.. think i will end here ba.. going off to chalet tml and the day after.. hahax.. with my sec skl frend.. so looking forward to this chalet.. hahax.. think it will be great fun.. flying off!!!

现实是残酷的。但我相信人是能改变自己的命运的。

承诺与友情要是只能拥有其中之一，你会选择哪一个？

oh great.. i did something so wrong today.. in fact is said something so wrong today.. omg.. i realli broke my frend's heart.. becos of a promise i made i forgot to acknowledge the frendship between my frends.. i sux totally.. how could i have made such harsh remarks??? out of vexation and frustration??? i dun think thats a good reason also.. omg.. hate it..

i actually told my frend somehow to mind his own business and dun meddle with others' problems.. i broke his heart utterly.. i noe i did.. and its too late liao le.. wat is said has been said.. and i can nv take back wat i have said.. i am that insensitive bastard once again.. it has been a long long time ever since i had said something so hurtful and wrong liao le.. this has been wat i have been avoiding for such a long time.. and yet it happened once again..

i sux totally.. my frend seem to have taken it in his stride and he kept assuring mi he was fine.. but i noe he isn't.. from wat he said before we left home i noe he wasn't.. he said he felt he dun have a place in the group of us since some time back.. and i noe wat i said today sent him down to the bottom of the pit..

hey buddy.. if u happened to see this, though u said u dun wanna read, i wanna apologise once again.. i noe no matter how many times i apologise, it will nv remove this scar i created.. but one thing i wan u to noe is that u may feel that u do not have a place amongst us.. but u definitely have a place in my heart.. u are a frend to mi.. alwaes.. no matter whether u recognise mi as ur frend anot, u will alwaes be my frend in my heart.. cauz u have already made an impact in my life..

to say its realli not ur fault for feeling left out.. its our fault instead for not caring about how u feel.. and i made this mistake today.. i din care about ur feelings.. its my bad.. i'm realli sorry.. hope u forgive mi.. i noe i am irritating cauz i realli dun wanna lose another frend ever anymore.. i have lost too many already.. and i realli dun wan the same thing to happen again.. cause u are realli an important frend to mi.. from the bottom of my heart..

i dunno leh.. i realli hope i can solve this misunderstanding soon ba.. i dun wan wat happened in the past to happen ever again.. i realli dun wanna have regrets anymore.. hopefully a miracle will happen....

i'm sad.. i'm disappointed.. i dunno wat to say.. wonder whether wat i did was right anot.. haizZz.. once again locking myself in a chamber of thoughts.. think gonna get insommia again tonight.. =(

woots.. monday after work went sakae buffet with linda.. hahax.. ate yakitori which made mi vomit in the toilet.. zZz.. so better not eat yakitori again in future.. lol.. today also went out.. hahax.. with linda again.. lol.. cauz we all today no work so decided to go out window shopping.. hahax.. cauz at home also nothing better to do..

meet linda at ard 2.30 liddat at yishun mrt.. then go marina square walk walk.. lol.. to look for her passport holder to be specific.. lol.. hahax.. went down especially to the mini toons there to get the passport holder cauz onli its the onli outlet in singapore which still has stock.. hahax.. she bought the passport holder and we carried on window shopping..

had lunch at food court this time cauz going budget cauz the both of us haven been working much this month and its ought to be time to save and scrimp a bit liao.. hahax.. chatted for quite a long time at the food court while waiting for ben ben and shi hua to join us.. hahax.. realised we both have many things in common.. hahax.. in the end she become my "gan jie" liao le.. lol.. very long nv chat for so long le.. hahax..

after that ben ben and shi hua joined us.. carried on with window shopping and ben ben bought one shirt.. hahax.. after that shi hua went for dance class so mi linda and ben ben went for dinner.. shi hua joined us after her dance class but i and linda left home first cauz both of us not feeling very well.. she had a flu and i had sore throat.. must be that yakitori.. lol.. hahax.. so took the train home and rotted and chatted on the phone with my senior.. lol..

tml going work.. hahax.. not going ice skate liao le.. cauz mel mel wanna go.. then 9 ppl le.. so decided not to go.. cauz not feeling very well also.. knee aching and shoulder aching.. cannot afford a fall liao le.. lol.. so decided to go work.. can earn money also.. wahahax.. too little schedule this month liao le.. hahax.. think i will stop here ba.. going sleep liao.. not feeling very well.. flying off!!!

back to blogging liao le.. it has been quite a week.. tiring yet fun week.. went out with colleagues and stuffs.. enjoyed my week very much.. budden as much as i enjoyed myself, had been moodly at home also.. dun wish to stay at home everyday.. dunno leh.. very very bored at home.. all i can do is to go online and do nothing.. lol.. but more importantly cauz quarrelled with my mum.. haizZz.. hopefully things will be fine soon ba..

onli these few months i have started thinking about life.. seems like i gained enlightenment liddat.. hahax.. realised i have realli changed alot since my jc days.. realli believe that the exams period was a turning point of my life.. meeting my study mates changed mi alot i guess.. and i reckon that that working also made mi a more mature person.. and i'm happy with who i am right now.. nonetheless still striving hard to make myself a better person..

tendered my resignation liao le.. working till the end of march.. 28th will be my very very last day liao le.. its realli goodbye to sakae westmall liao le.. lots of emotions and thoughts thinking of leaving sakae.. lots of memories also.. more to the good ones.. realli think i will miss everyone over there in sakae.. realli forged lots of friendship over there..

army is coming so soon liao le.. a bit chuo shou bu ji.. so many things i have not done yet and so many things i haven accomplish.. so many things i wanna do.. organise outing for my own og, catch up with my study mates.. so many things i wanna do.. and so many questions that i have not answered myself.. arghhh.. army realli deprive ppl of precious time.. yucks..

think i will have to use my time wisely this few weeks liao le.. especially this week.. many things to be completed and done.. cannot afford to waste my time.. think gotta register for a dourse this week also.. if not no time liao le.. also have to sort out my thinking and try to answer myself to the many qns i have and also help my frends in their probs.. hopefully i can do it..

think i will end here ba.. looking forward to the week to come.. ice skating again i think.. lol.. and sure it will be fun.. hahax.. tml going back skl getting money for fac.. hahax.. then working tml.. flying off!!!

为何选择了放手，但在无人的夜里会感到心痛？？？

haizZz.. rather pissed yesterday.. nowhere to go to but choose to rant here.. so pardon mi from being realli exasperated here.. went back home yesterday wanting to find the $100 plus receipt i kept from the other time to be a vip member for sakae.. but didn't manage to find it.. so went to ask my mum if she had seen my receipt anot..

was rather impatient and a bit impolite i admit.. cauz its $100 plus dollars worx.. had a hard hard time keeping receipts.. budden my mum started yelling at mi and accusing mi that i am blaming her she lost my receipt.. i realli dunno why.. i tried to control myself but i can't.. started losing my temper liao le..

after that had a bad fall in the kitchen cauz the floor was too slippery.. stomach crashed into the basin and had a hard knock on my injured shoulder.. sianzZz.. now my shoulder is realli like breaking apart.. i realli dunno why.. my mum start accusing mi that i was falling on purpose and yelled so loudly almost the whole HDB flat can hear her.. zZz.. then my dad was waken up and started scolding mi..

i realli dunno why.. my parents nv try to understand things and start scolding and shouting.. they can nv tok nicely to mi.. hate that.. they nv get the facts right and they will condemn u like nobody's business.. realli hate this.. i realli wonder when they can ever tok nicely to mi and i would do the same.. haizZz.. hate it..

nonetheless yesterday was a great day for mi.. the unhappy stuffs happened onli at home.. went out with ben, anna and anna's younger brother.. hahax.. went ice skating at je.. lol.. it was my first time ice skating.. very very NOOB.. hahax.. struggled learning how to balance and how to skate.. budden in the end managed to learn how to skate le.. hahax.. from a few hard falls and knocks.. hahax.. very funny de i keep falling.. hahax..

took neoprints after ice skating.. very fun also.. hahax.. weird weird de poses and funny funny de gestures.. lol.. had a great time taking neoprints also.. hahax.. very very interesting.. upload the neoprints we took yesterday.. hahax..




















act cute de.. hahax..




















sushi!!!!




















ghostly~~~~~

hahax.. after ice skating went causeway point for sakae buffet.. hahax.. cauz anna de little brother nv eat buffet before.. very fun de chattin and dining over there.. saw sandberg also.. hahax.. very fun.. ate quite alot yesterday cauz very very hungry.. ben kept entertaining us with his jokes and fun gestures.. enjoyed myself at dnner very much..

it was alwaes fun going out with my colleagues.. hahax.. think i will very much miss the times i spent with them when i quit at the end of this month and preparing myself to go NS liao le.. hopefully will keep in contact with them and come out play after i left.. hahax.. think will end here ba.. gotta work later also.. budden shoulder uber pain dunno how to work also.. think hang on ba.. flying off!!! =)

today went out early in the morning.. went out with joel and my sec skl frend chak yong.. hahax.. we all decided to catch a movie today.. so met at lot 1 and then after that decided to go town to catch a movie..

decided to catch the movie Letters from Iwo Jima.. its a war movie narrating the japanese perspective towards world war 2.. it was a nice movie.. very touching in fact.. the soldiers from both america and japan had to leave their family for war.. actually i realli feel that war is realli cruel.. causes so much misery and sorrow to the ppl..

however one phrase that realli touched mi and took mi alot is that a mother of an american soldier said that: "Do what is right because u think that it is right." realli something for ppl to ponder about.. many a times ppl dun noe whether the things they do is right or wrong.. and ppl will regret for doing something wrong..

but this phrase realli teaches ppl a lot.. we should not be regretting on whether wat we did is right or wrong.. instead, we should realli do things because we feel that it is right.. its realli the choice that matters.. in life, there is realli no right or wrong choices.. its realli dependant on overselves.. if we feel that wat we did is right and carry on our convictions, there will not be a wrong choice and regrets in the future.. i dunno.. this is my point of view and ppl may not agree with mi.. again its up to choice again.. lol..

this was the catch of the day during the movie.. caused mi to ponder quite a lot after the movie.. think realli din waste the money watching the movie today cause realli learnt something.. after the movie went walk walk with joel ard town.. chak yong din join us cauz he had something else on.. then went back to lot 1 to fetch his bike and walk to the canal we used to hang out during sec skl.. hahax.. its a nice experience and great to go back to the place i had lots of memories about sec skl days..

currently have lots of things on my mind once again.. got alot of things i realli wanna do.. cauz i think i dun have much time left till NS le.. and there are so many things i realli wanna do.. budden when i realli start to think of wat i wanna do now, my mind goes blank.. haizZz.. realli dunno wat i wanna do sia.. gonna plan it later.. hahax.. think i will stop here ba.. tml think going play bball.. flying off!!!

zZzZz...

my one week of break is over le.. gonna start work soon.. budden noe wat??? my manager gave mi another 3 days of consecutive off days from monday to wednesday.. meaning that i had 10 days of break in a row.. sianzZz.. dunno how to tune back to the working mood liao le.. zZzZz..

haizZz.. this painful week has finally ended.. starting afresh from tml onwards.. looking forward to the new goals i have in life and moving with life.. managed to face the failures and accepted the reality liao le.. time to realli move on to the next stage of my life..

guess its realli time to learn to take a step at a time and not be too hasty in doing things.. have to be calm and composed when facing difficulties and failures.. this week i realised many many stuffs.. ppl cannot hog and complain bout failures and refused to do something to improve the situation.. there is no point grumbling and blaming ourself, regretting watever we did in the past.. wat is done is done.. nothing can be changed.. i learnt that ppl must learn to face the reality and to try to solve the problems we have in our hands.. it will realli make ppl feel better in times of despair and agony..

hopefully i can realli plan my future well and not regret my choice in the future.. i already have many regrets and i dun wan my future to be in my list of regrets again.. the reality is cruel.. and many a times reality really causes lots of pain and sorrow to us.. however time can realli heal the wounds that reality has created.. but a scar will alwaes be there.. nonetheless we still have to face life with courage and hope..

hahax.. getting more and more naggy le.. think will end here ba.. another food for thought of the day.. thought of it on my way home today.. 暴风雨后是否就能真的看到晴朗的天空??? leave u ppl reading this post to think about it.. hahax.. realli like ah peh liddat.. hahax.. flying off!!!

haven been blogging for quite a few days liao le.. cauz have been doing quite alot of things this week.. think a quick update ba.. monday went out with bin hao to discuss about A levels results.. also had suki buffet that day.. lol..

tuesday went swimming with joel and then had suki again.. ala carte this time.. sianzZz.. the ala carte food sux.. then wednesday rotted at home and did practically nothing.. long long time nv rot at home liao le.. and rotting means i will think about alot of stuffs and get myself troubled for nothing.. especially when results sux..

thursday was a good day.. finally went to skl and meet up with my teacher miss goh to tok to her wat i can do with my extremely lousy results.. also toked with mr mak and some other teachers regarding my results.. got to hear that i got chance to go NIE to take a diploma course so in future gonna ba teacher.. and also heard about some of the other options my teachers offered.. its a realli good thing i decided to consult my teachers cauz they offer great advices and i got a clearer picture of wat i can do..

then after meeting my teacher went out with my colleagues.. went town jalan jalan and had sakae buffet at heeren.. lol.. quite fun.. good thing to go out with my colleagues also.. can chill out and stop thinking bout my results and stuffs.. enjoyed myself quite a lot also.. hopefully next week can go out with them again..

then friday went play basketball in the morning with wei xia, zhen lin, vincent and hock yong.. very fun.. lol.. cauz long time nv exercise le.. play 5 hrs of bball.. tired like hell budden the feeling is exhilarating.. lol.. had lunch with them then went skl to see orientation.. actually wanted to join wet games budden frend wasn't there so din join.. chatted with my juniors instead..

then was JJ nite in the evening.. met up with rasyid sharon and some of the other ogls and this yr's facs for jj nite.. it was fun.. not realli becos the whole thing was realli fun, budden was the fun i had with my frends who came for jj nite.. high like hell during times like mass dance.. lol.. simply love the company of the ogls and facs from my batch and senior batch.. hahax..

today went NTU open house with joel.. the open house was fine.. got more information that i needed.. toking to the students over there gave mi a better idea wat i should do.. hahax.. realli thankful i went to the open house today.. it was ard when we were leaving that we met the rest of the 4/8 peeps.. then went off together to lot 1 for dinner at pizza hut..

quite many ppl came.. 19 in fact.. the dinner was alright.. juz that din get to tok to most of them cauz i joel and wei da were sitting in another table.. but it was nice toking to the both of them and chatting bout work studies and stuffs.. nice to see most of them today also.. hahax.. also got to noe there is a chalet this coming 25 march.. so looking forward to it.. hahax.. hope it will be fun..

think this is all i did for this week.. very long update instead of the quick update i said.. lol.. think did too much things liao le.. hahax.. this week was a realli tough week for mi..results and so many stuffs.. mind realli on the verge of blowing up liao le.. but luckily alwaes going out and chill out with frends and the support of my buddies is alwaes there.. helped mi get thru this painful week of reality and truth.. hahax.. hopefully can start next week afresh..

think tml going NUS open house with joel.. though cannot get in but accompany him cauz he accompanied mi the whole of today in the NTU open house.. thanks bro.. think i will stop here ba.. flying off!!!

当彩虹失去了颜色，生命还会如此的灿烂美丽吗？

haizZzZz..

dunno wat to do liao le.. haizZz.. gotten my results for As.. for those who are interested to noe, i got straight D and B3 for gp.. hopefully it answered many de qns.. din feel like replying to messages ppl sent mi.. dunno how to reply also.. mood so down le still expect to tell others "oh i got a straight D for As and B3 for gp" meh??? haiya..

din feel like blogging these few days after getting results.. too tramautised liao le.. devastated in fact.. before getting results i already planned a few routes i can take.. but after getting results i realised i am too naive in my thinking liao le.. i have been too optimistic liao le.. thought i can realli face the music..

budden i still took time and think of realli wat i should do.. have been calling my seniors and also some of my closer frends to seek for advice and help.. this thursday going skl seek teacher de opinion also.. there are still many routes out there.. hopefully i can make a decision real soon.. and can crawl out of this dire state i am in now..

these few days i realised i realli cannot face the truth.. the reality.. been numbing myself with games and stuffs.. go out with frends and go swimming all those stuffs.. hoping to escape from reality.. i reali wish i had nv been thru all these.. i had been too optimistic liao le.. but when disaster realli strikes, i am realli helpless.. and i dunno wat to do.. i am realli lost in my own dimension, lost in my thoughts and lost in time..

realli hate this feeling.. but at least i got my answers.. at least i will not be carrying a false hope and wish that everything will turn out right.. a least i will not be trapped in a whirlpool of uncertainties.. being sucked in and dun have the chance to ever get out.. reality is cruel but its a way for one to become stronger.. reality is painful but it also gives one a chance to move on in life.. and i think its time i realli learn to face the monster of reality..

learning to let go and learning to move on is a difficult and painful journey.. but i am sure i will overcome it.. results is nv everything.. failure is nv a big thing.. its the journey and the lessons that are important.. learn from mistakes and correct them.. thats the key..

hopefully i can crawl out of the bottom of the pit soon.. hopefully i can overcome all the unhappiness and sadness in mi.. i am sure i can.. so to all my frends dun have to worry about mi.. i wun do anything stupid cauz there are much more important things in life for mi.. think i will stop here ba.. leaving this phrase for u guys reading this post to ponder about.. 到底逃避现实痛苦还是面对现实痛苦??? signing off...

everything is over.. goodbye to uni.. life suxs.. i knew it.. miracles nv existed.. its juz an illusion, a hope to numb oneself.. now i noe.. hope is juz a hope.. it can never be reality.....

woots.. tml is the moment of truth liao.. the day has finally arrived.. the day i had not been looking forward to.. the day which my fate will be determined.. omg.. i'm so freakingly not prepared la.. zZzZz.. haizZz.. but guess its time to face the truth liao le.. and time to think of wat to do liao le..

having this yucky feeling that i will realli do very very badly.. though many best wished from my frends and colleagues, i think i still wun make it.. think will do realli realli badly.. haizZz.. feeling so bad right now..

yesterday night was the first time i nv had insommia in my life.. couldn't sleep.. was actually planning outing de.. cauz today one of our colleague going overseas and we were intending to song her.. in the end onli mi and mel went.. hahax.. also actually intended to cycle at east coast de.. budden raining.. so cancelled again..

yesterday night could not sleep totally.. chatted with my junior till 4 plus.. then onli managed to turn in ard 4.30.. dunno why.. keep thinking about things and worrying bout things.. budden at least i sorted out some thoughts liao le.. and realised some stuffs liao le.. think i had been having too much hopes bout some stuffs liao le.. budden i finally decided to give up le.. it has been too antagonising for mi.. think should juz stop thinking.. i will nv figure out an answer myself..

luckily today went out with mel.. if not i would have been hu si luan xiang-ing at home today.. went sent our colleague linda off liao then took 858 to causeway watch protege.. a nice movie.. meaningful also.. lol.. hahax.. chatted quite alot with melvin and reggie today also.. it was fun today outside.. at least i stop thinking during the time i was out.. zZzZz...

think i wun be able to sleep tonight also ba.. thinking will hu si luan xiang again for the whole night.. haizZz.. again still got many things on my mind.. yucks.. dunno wat to do!!! sianzZz.. i think i will stop here ba.. no mood to carry on le.. flying off....