sianzZz

super super tired today.. neck aching.. has been aching for days liao le.. the splitting headache i had from yesterday still not ok yet.. sianzZz.. so so tired liao le.. of so many things.. dunno how to say also..

yesterday morning went play bball with my platoon mates.. hahax.. first time going out with ppl in my platoon.. not bad la.. it was fun yet tiring.. cauz too long never exercise liao during the block leave.. hahax.. guess have to try go for a run soon.. which is today and tml.. wahahx.. budden doubt i got the motivation to do so..

hahax.. while playing everyone is like making calls to check where they are posted to.. a number of them there are posted to OCS.. hahax.. thats great.. sianzZz.. was not very worried budden still hoping that i can get into a slack unit.. so went home after bball to check on my vocation..

got into a weird one.. hahax.. FD ENGR PNR- PLANT.. according to my senior is field engineer.. i'm the pioneer batch and my role is like to plant explosives and set up wire obstacles.. sounds dangerous.. sianzZz sia.. hopefully its slack ba.. hahax.. but it doesn't sound so... like chiong sua that type.. dunno la.. i will noe wat it is on monday.. and the good thing is that it is at jurong.. yipee.. wahahax..

supposedly going play pool with reggie and melvin de.. budden in the end din go.. cauz of the bad headache.. sorry worx reggie ps u.. ard evening went out with wei xia zhen lin and vincent go dinner.. cauz long time no see xia liao le.. so went lo.. went IMM makan pepper lunch and also visit linda.. hahax.. long time no see liao also.. wahahax.. after went play pool at CSC.. sianzZz..

haizZz.. some things on my mind dunno how to say also.. and think shouldn't say also ba.. haizZz.. feel so puzzled on wat to do now.. haizZz.. think end here ba.. dun say le.. flying off..

today was a good day.. woke up early in the morning.. played a bit of game then went out le.. hahax.. went out with edmund, boon hou and yong qing to orchard cine to sing K.. hahax.. apparently town is the common place we all can go.. cauz everyone of us is scattered ard singapore.. LOL.. hahax.. it was fun singing together with them.. hahax.. its very comfortable to be in the company.. hahax.. sang till 3 plus then went rot ard orchard.. hahax..

i went back first cauz getting money from sakae.. hahax.. din noe i still got a bit of money left in sakae.. hahax.. 40 bucks worx.. hahax.. can pay my handphone bills liao le.. wahahax.. sort of unexpected money when i am now so short of cash liao.. hahax.. so in time man.. wahahax.. saw alot of new faces in sakae and the onli familiar faces i can see is reggie and agnes.. hahax.. think reggie is leaving also liao.. anna leaving next week.. finally.. everyone tuo li ku hai liao le.. hahax..

went home played a bit of game then went out for dinner with anna, zhen lin and jing shi.. hahax.. took bus to batok to walk to gombak together with them.. LOL.. had prata at gombak there.. not too bad la.. quite nice.. budden they say a bit hard today.. after dinner walked together with jing shi back home cauz afraid she will be caught by "ahem".. wahahax.. then i went back home rotting till now.. hahax.. while in the lift at jing shi home they even played POLICE N THIEF with mi.. went up and down the lift till i fed up and waited downstairs.. LOL.. wahahax..

think i will stop here ba.. a bit tired liao le.. think i blog again another time ba.. gtg.. flying off!!!

WOOTS!!!

today was a great day.. celebrated vincent's 18th bdae.. hahax.. meet in the afternoon to have suki buffet.. hahax.. actually i wanted to go earlier to get the cake for vin de.. budden was late.. then vincent saw mi at the ATM there.. sianzZz.. cannot use draw money as excuse to go buy liao le.. so no choice met up with anna and jing shi who were already at lot 1..

hahax.. somehow anna and jing shi got the cake for vincent even though i din reply their msg when they are deciding on the cake.. wahahax.. mi and my lousy phone with lack of memory space for msgs.. hahax.. had buffet and zhen lin joined us later.. hahax.. ate till 5 plus.. and we were finished witht he buffet.. hahax.. and we finally set up the surprise for vincent when he went washroom.. prepared the cake before he came back.. wahahax..

true enough vincent was quite surprised.. hahax.. sang bdae song and then let him make wish and blow candles.. hahax.. think shall upload the photos i took today ba.. hahax.. the happy bdae boy.. wahahax..






















vincent's bdae cake.. hahax..

























the bdae boy.. hahax..

after that went CSC play pool.. hahax.. saw the president there worx.. apparently it was the official opening of CSC and Mr Nathan was invited ba.. hahax.. play pool see president worx.. lol.. wahahax.. finished with playing pool then went westmall walk walk jalan jalan.. then anna and jing shi decided to watch men in white, "gui ah gui ah".. hahax.. the movie was lame.. no storyline ba.. budden very funny.. LMAO.. wahahax.. but in the movie somehow showing the ugly side of singaporeans ba.. hahax.. hidden meaning worx.. lol.. wahahax..


after the movie went back home le.. doing nothing much.. wanna play bball tml leh.. sianzZz.. budden seems like my senior KO from thailand trip for army le.. haizZz.. hopefully he can tml ba.. hahax.. think i will end here le ba.. blog again another time.. flying off!!!

POP LO!!!

training to be soldiers,

fight for our land.

once in our lives,

2 yrs of our time.

have u ever wondered,

why must we serve?

becos we love our land,

and we want it to be free to be free!

hahax.. 9 weeks have passed le.. some say its a short time.. some say its a long time.. but to mi, i felt this 9 weeks was a long 9 weeks.. full of ups and downs in this 9 weeks of BMT.. wat we do everyday is illustrated by a stanza from a army song we sing everyday above.. but i am realli glad to have learnt and noe more things liao le.. and no longer as ignorant liao le..

this 9 weeks of BMT has been tough.. physically.. but more importantly is mentally.. everyone that have gone thru BMT will agree with mi that everyone of us have grown stronger mentally and able to cope with greater stress and learn how to deal with relationships with frends and family..

we had our Passing Out Parade yesterday.. the spirit was dampened by a extremely heavy rain in the morning.. everyone thought that there wun be a parade liao le.. but luckily the rain stopped and the sun came out.. i was happy.. cauz we could have the parade.. i felt that POP will nv be meaningful if we din have a parade.. hahax.. everyone endured thru the heat in the parade square and i am sure the proudest moment of BMT is when our parents put on our jockey caps for us.. we finished the parade and passed out as PRIVATES!!! hahax..

after the parade took lots of photos with everyone in the platoon.. its the best moment of BMT that i will rmb for life..hahax.. shall now upload some photos that i have taken with everyone in the platoon ba as well as the photos i took with my beloved parents.. hahax..

with my mum and dad..

raven platoon 4!!!

the place i will miss..

think i will upload some other pictures another time ba.. hahax.. i will realli miss the time in BMT.. all the hardships everone have gone thru together and all the fun and laughter that all of us had together.. it will be deeply etched in my memories alwaes.. think i will stop here ba.. going out soon.. shall blog again another time ba.. flying off!!! =)

2 more days to POP!!!

woots.. 2 more days to POP liao le.. in case u dun understand, POP means Passing Out Parade.. its means that i have completed basic military training and can move on to the next stage of army life.. hahax.. finally after 2 long months i can feel POP within my grasp liao le.. hahax..

on friday, i completed the 24km route march.. which is the graduation route march that everyone has to go thru before passing out of BMT.. and i am realli proud to announce that i have completed the 24km route march.. the route march was a very very painful and tough one.. walking 24km with Full Battle Order weighing bout 20 plus kg.. but realli glad most of us in the platoon made it thru together.. shiok.. wahahax..

no longer the fear of OOt liao le.. hahax.. my pc said since i had good attendance for most of the activities, there is no reason why i should OOT.. hahax.. great.. no need to fear anything liao le.. juz do my best for the rest of the 2 days in BMT.. gonna party on monday night.. hahax..

think i will stop here ba.. blog again after my POP.. block leave is coming lo!!! damn damn shiok.. wahahax.. later going out.. hahax.. take care all my frends.. cya soon! flying off!!!

zZzZz....

such a "great" week sia.. haizZz.. so much things happened this week sia.. very very hectic and a very very tiring week.. so tired sia.. despite the fact that i had the vesak day break, i dunno why i feel so weak.. so drained out.. izzit becos of the 16km route march this tuesday??? or izzit the ippt which i failed today??? i dunno leh..

haizZz.. feel so helpless this week man.. realli helpless.. been thinking about alot alot of things.. alot alot of things on my mind right now.. so many things for mi to consider right now.. so many things for mi to do right now.. i feel so powerless.. feel so weak.. feel that i dun have the ability to accomplish wat i wanna do sia.. this feeling sux man.. haizZz..

there are so many things which i dunno how to handle at all.. it has been a tough and demanding week sia.. so many things happened.. so much failures has occured to mi.. and i dun think i can take the stress.. and i realli start to doubt myself liao le.. doubt the fact whether i can face more failures in the future.. haizZz.. wat should i do??? can someone give mi an ans??? i dun think so ba.. cauz onli i can unlock the lock which i have secured on myself..

i start to dislike myself once again liao le.. i reverting back to my old self again liao le.. that insensitive and straight forward bastard going ard and kao bei ppl.. haizZz.. guess is high time i wake myself up liao le.. zheng xiang arh.. dun turn back into someone which everyone loathes and hates.. wake up man wake up man.. arghhhhh!!!

haizZz.. dun think i should write anymore ba.. think i should go figure out my thoughts liao le.. end here ba.. flying off..

will anyone understand the pain in mi???

haizZz

back at home liao le.. cauz vesak day.. get to book out yesterday night.. woots.. but the book out isn't so great afterall.. have to book in again tonight liao le.. and now coughing and having a bad bad bad flu sia.. and i endured thru the 16km route march with the flu and cough.. painful experience.. plus the skin on my palm came off liao during SOC yesterday.. haizZz.. juz suxs..

this coming saturday ippt liao le.. dun think can pass in the first place.. now the more i think i cannot pass liao le.. sick and extremely painful hand.. cannot run cannot pull up.. sianzZz.. haizZz.. heck care la.. since i not aimming for command skl..

last night went clementi to find zhen lin, vincent, hock yong, anna, jing shi and wei xia after my book out.. cauz vin ask mi play pool.. budden onli get to play one game cauz i book out very late and can onli meet them round 11.. after that jiu went home liao le..

haizZz.. thanks to my stupid mouth, said something wrong again liao le.. haizZz.. nv think about others de feeling.. so insensitive of mi.. haizZz.. noe is my fault.. cauz is i say de.. haizZz.. dunno wat to do also.. haizZz.. my must i say the wrong things at the wrong time??? haizZz.. why din i care bout other's de feelings??? i think i deserved to be scolded sia.. haizZz.. sorry worx anna.. sorry i din cared about ur feelings.. forgive mi ok??? promise no more next time liao le worx.. sorry sorry!

haizZz.. think i will stop here ba.. no mood to carry on liao le.. think going rest liao.. taking medicine later.. flying off..

back from SITEST...

finally released from the tekong prison and now back to civilisation once again.. it has been a hell of a week.. very very very hectic and tiring.. all the activities came one after another this week.. had grenade live throw which i threw a blind.. haizZz.. then came sitest.. woots..

sitest was completely tiring.. crazy in fact.. had 12km route march to the camp site and started learning new things to help us in our mission.. but the fast march every morning is like crazy la.. lol.. nonetheless sitest was fun for mi.. many new things that are useful i have learnt.. there wasn't much of stress cauz i wasn't aimming for command skl liao le..

recently has been thinking about alot alot of things.. about my life and about myself.. i am planning to retake As.. hahax.. dunno why suddenly have this plan.. but i think i started to think more about my future liao le.. thats was partly why i gave up the idea of going command skl.. i think this 2 yrs is time for mi to think bout my life liao le.. wat i realli realli want in my life.. and its realli time to do it liao le..

last night i had somehow a debate with my section mate charles.. toking about things happening in army.. and him telling mi about my negative parts.. wat he said i already knew.. cauz i had close confidants telling mi bout that liao le.. but i guess he knew mi onli for a short time.. he cannot understand mi at all.. and i am not ready to say things bout myself..

yes.. ppl should be optimistic.. we should change our mindset.. but at the end of the day, nothing can be changed instantaneously.. time is the crucial factor in this game.. and i guess its also the ppl.. somehow some ppl i can connect immediately and open up to them.. but that is onli a few onli.. my section mate is helpful.. but he is giving too much.. we are humans afterall.. we are not immortal.. we are not all mighty.. there are some things that are realli up to thyself to solve.. others cannot help..

army indeed changes boys to men.. its realli a period of hardship that boys can mature and grow up, starting to think more about their lives and themselves.. to mi army is somehow good.. apart from the crazy training.. hope i can get myself a answer to all my qns soon ba..

i think i will stop here ba.. going out to swim later liao le.. hahax.. a hot hot weather.. shiok to swim.. wahahax.. meeting up with my senior 2LT zi cheng later.. lol.. wahahax.. flying off!!!

GREAT WEEKEND

this weekend has been a great weekend for mi.. very fun and enjoyed myself very very much.. first time in the week i felt happy in fact.. cauz was realli bothered by my injury and bothered over the fact that i missed field camp.. haizZz.. was feeling bad for the past week..

but on saturday went out with my frends wei xia, hock yong, zhen lin, vincent, anna, jing shi and kwang yee to go sentosa play play.. lol.. it was very very fun.. took the new monotrail to sentosa.. hahax.. first time i take worx.. very fun.. reached there ard noon and started playing volleyball all those.. couldn't go into the water cauz my wound not totally recovered yet..

yesterday keep making fun of vincent and keep on ka jiao-ing him.. hahax.. so fun to "play" with him sia.. hahax.. bury him in the sand and throwing him into the water.. also gave him new hair styles.. LOL.. its realli fun fun fun.. hahax.. shall upload some photos of wat we did to him.. hahax..


























poor ika buried to the ground.. LOL.. hahax..

the poor ika kanna throw into the water.. lol.

also did ika and fish hunting close to the evening when we were about to leave sentosa.. hahax.. it was fun.. hahax.. wei xia unleashes the kid in her and hunted keep trying to catch the fishes in the water.. hahax.. she managed to catch a few and also baby squid = baby ika.. lol.. thats why vincent got suaned again.. LOL.

at night went to marina bay to have steamboat.. hahax.. meet carey, yih pei, yih hao and xue pan over there cauz they were early and we are late.. lol.. yesterday din eat much cauz of my knee injury acting suddenly.. but the steamboat was still realli fun.. chat and joked alot together.. hahax.. on the way back home we practically laughed from marina to jurong east.. cauz we started to joke bout vincent again.. lol.. the trip yesterday as great and it realli lifted my spirits..

today went out to celebrate shi hua's bdae.. went for steamboat at marina also.. hahax.. 2 days in a row eating steamboat.. but ok la.. since is bdae celebration.. ate alot today during the steamboat.. its also nice to joke with ah wong and yih hao also.. hahax.. after which we went back to batok to cut the cake.. lol.. here are some of the photos of the bdae girl.. and also the group photo we took..























the bdae girl cutting the cake..




















the group photo we took.. hahax..

realli had fun this weekend.. hopefully next book out also so fun.. think i will stop here ba.. super tired liao le.. KO liao le.. think i will blog again another time ba.. flying off!!!

sianzZz sianzZz sianzZz...

today did nothing much in the morning.. came online for a while then went to polyclinic clean my wound.. waited for a long time to see doctor and clean my wound.. but one good thing is that the doctor said that my wound was nicely stitched and the scar wun be too bad afterall.. phew.. quite a relief..

got back home in the afternoon.. had lunch and online again.. realised there was one msg in my inbox.. its a friendster comment i received from my colleague amanada.. wat she said realli made mi disappointed with myself.. i realised that i have not been asking my frends and colleagues out as i have promised to do so.. ben and reggie also told mi this before.. and i realli cannot give them a good ans..

all i can say is that i have little book out time and most of the time ppl ask mi out instead of i ask ppl out.. i think this is realli an excuse.. its not a good reason.. i din make an effort to ask.. i did not try and i make a conclusion that ppl are busy and will not be free to go out together.. its realli assumptions that i make.. and i am ashamed that i even promised my colleagues i will try to maintain the frendship i have with them when i am not even trying..

i think its realli time i should stop giving myself excuses and realli time to fulfill my promise to my frends liao.. its realli time to do so liao le.. like wat i believe, i think its realli choice.. and i have now made a choice to fulfill my promise.. to all my frends.. sorry i somewhat broke the promise i given u all.. hope u all can forgive mi.. from today onwards, no matter how busy i am, i will make an effort to maintain the frendship i have with u all.. thats a promise and i will not break it ever again..

i think i will stop here ba.. a bit tired le.. going sleep perhaps.. tml gonna book in again liao le.. haizZz.. flying off!!! =)

ARGHHH!!!!

i have nv been so down in my mood ever since i finished my exams last yr.. feeling so empty and frustrated right now.. and i dunno how to express it out man.. this realli realli sux man.. even as i am writing this post i dunno wat i am trying to say also.. arghh.. this feeling is so disgusting..

why am i so unlucky to be injured at this point of time??? why must i be sent home??? why can't i go thru field camp together with my fellow frends??? this is realli exasperating.. i am nearing to POP liao le.. even if i wun be posted to a good vocation, i still wanna go thru everything in BMT.. now i missed field camp which is the most important part of BMT.. this feeling sux man..

i noe accidents wun be called an accident if we noe when it will happen.. but i realli dunno why it must happen to me.. i cannot go thru all the shyt and hardships with my platoon and bunk mates.. it also means i missed my chance to realli bond and connect with them liao le.. arghhh.. i doubt anyone can understand how i feel.. i keep asking myself why but i can never get an ans..

i might have to recourse.. it doesn't matter.. cauz i still serve the same period of time.. but wat i realli cannot let go is the frendship that i have forged in raven.. i started to bond with my frends.. the thought of the fact that i cannot pass out with my platoon mates juz sux man.. even if i managed to pass out, there will still be this regret that i have not realli completed BMT.. haizZz.. realli feeling so bad right now.. and this is realli a prob i cannot solve.. no matter how hard i try.. haizZz..

i realli wan to tok to someone.. but i dunno who i can tok to.. i dun wanna trouble my frends.. haizZz.. think i juz have to learn to accept reality once again ba.. but the world is cruel.. reality hurts.. flying off......

ATT C..

sianzZz diao.. i am now attending C.. attending C is for ppl who are realli sick in tekong to be send home to rest.. i am not sick.. but injured.. sianzZz diao.. got to attend C for 5 days.. meaning u will be grounded at home and not allowed to do anything except staying at home.. sianzZz..

the past week has been a easy yet tiring week.. had live range where we got to shoot real ammo.. all we had to do was to wait and wait and wait and wait for out turn to come to shoot.. the shooting took 2 days and i think i managed to pass live range.. and i was looking forward to field camp..

soon field camp came.. and saturday was the first day of field camp.. completely shagged that day.. had 8km route march to our camp site.. then had urban training and built basha in the evening for the night.. the day was extremely tiring.. but managed to get thru it..

second day come.. morning had field PT.. followed by urban training again.. that was when the unfortunate event occured.. when cheonging across a "danger area", i fell down.. i dunno why i fell cauz i cannot feel that i tripped on anything or neither my boots slipped.. i fell flat on the ground and immediately took off my helmet.. to my horror, blood was all over my helmet.. and i am dripping blood.. got a realli deep cut on my chin.. my SIR was stunned.. so were the medics.. cauz i was DRIPPING blood..

was sent to the medical centre for treatment.. budden in the end was sent out to changi hospital for treatment instead.. had 5 stitches.. luckily it was below my chin.. cannot reali be seen.. haizZz.. went back tekong to sleep in bunk.. i was the onli 1 in the whole company sleeping in bunk.. freakishly scared la.. but managed to get thru the night..

booked out and now back at night.. zZz.. cannot do anything sia.. haizZz.. attend C means i miss the whole of field camp liao le.. and i might not be able to pass out of bmt and might have to recourse.. sobs.. why must accidents happen at this point of time??? why why why??? but it cannot be helped ba.. an accident cannot be predicted.. guess i have to accept fate ba.. have to recourse recourse lo.. haizZz.. but realli cannot bare my platoon and bunk mates.. juz got to noe them better nia.. haizZz.. seriously dunno how to describe how i feel now.. haizZz..

think i stop here ba.. dun feel like carrying on liao le.. if got mood blog again next time ba.. gtg le.. feeling sleepy.. flying off......

woots.. it has been hell of a week.. finally book out liao yesterday.. budden the anticipation towards book out has been lessened.. dunno why.. seem to be like juz another book out liao le.. haizZz.. maybe realli getting used to the monotonous life in army liao le.. so feeling nothing much..

but i still had fun during these 2 days of book out.. yesterday went out with my colleagues anna, vincent, melvin, zhen lin and jing shi to walk walk have dinner and play pool.. hahax.. sianzZz sia.. cut my hair before book out.. anna and vincent laughed like hell when they saw my extremely short hair.. sobs.. haizZz.. nvm ba.. used to being botak liao.. wahahax..

then today went causeway watch spiderman 3 with wei xia, vincent and jing shi.. finally.. watch spiderman 3 liao le.. hahax.. the movie was good.. nice.. and some phrases in the ending realli caught mi.. cauz those are realli my convictions and beliefs in life.. after the movie met anna and kwang yee and went ichiban grab a bite.. then went off to meet my mum and sis for dinner..

this 2 days was fun and meaning.. and realli realli start to appreciate everyone ard mi liao le.. all my frends and my family.. hardly got the time to realli go out with them liao le.. simply too little time and freedom liao le.. and i hardly think these days liao le.. juz following orders all the while.. thats why had a rough time last night when chatting with my junior xun kai.. guess its realli time to start thinking again liao le.. wahahax..

i dunno leh.. i realli feel helpless recently.. many things i wanna do.. many things i hope to do.. frendships i wanna maintain.. relationships with ppl i wanna secure.. but i am realli helpless.. i realli dun have enough time to do wat i yearn to do.. but i wun give up trying.. cauz giving up on something is the last thing i would ever do in my life.. cauz everyone have a choice in their life.. i will definitely try my very best to maintain the frendship i have.. i will..

think i will stop here ba.. somehow dunno wat i am blabbering about liao.. hahax.. have to stop writing crap.. hahax.. will onli be back in 2 weeks time.. going field camp liao le.. confinement in tekong again.. sianzZz.. but i will pull thru.. blog again in 2 weeks time.. flying off!

1st book in.....

sianzZz.. booking in in a few hours time liao.. haizZz.. back to tekong "chalet" liao le.. hahax.. i am so "excited" sia.. can anyone feel my excitement??? zZz.. sianzZz diaozZz.. the thought of having to go back tekong will onli drive one nuts man.. tekong juz sux.. gonna be taken away from civilisation for another 3 to 4 days time liao le.. one word to describe: sianzZz..

haven pack my bag yet.. have to go pack liao le.. so many things to bring back to camp.. think my shoulder is going to break when i reach tekong sia.. haizZz.. tekong juz sux man.. haizZz.. sia la.. onli went in for 3 weeks feel this way liao le.. how to survive the rest of the time??? sianzZz..

ending here liao ba.. back for more boring update in my next book out.. which seems a long long long way away sia.. zZz.. flying off.....

thought i would have to rot my precious book out day today le.. budden in the end din.. wahahax.. it turned out to be a good day instead.. lol.. went to buy some army stuffs in the afternoon.. then met anna and vincent to go for dinner.. hahax..

actually wanted to ask them out de.. but thought they wun be free today.. hahax.. so decided to abort the idea.. hahax.. vincent called mi and asked mi whether i wanted to go dinner.. hahax.. so decided to meet them cauz i got nothing much to do also.. wahahax..

went westmall to get some ziplock bags from the army shop over there.. sianzZz.. regretted not buying at beach road on saturday.. sianzZz.. met anna at westmall in which we took train to boon lay to met vincent.. go sakae.. wahahax.. 3rd time i eating sakae on my book out days liao worx.. wahahax..

met my ex manager irene there.. hahax.. good to see familiar faces once again after so long.. and its nice to be going out with my colleagues after so long.. chatting and playing with them.. stealing away vincent's handphone and suaning him.. hahax.. its juz great that they are willing to take time off to meet up today.. and i realli enjoyed myself alot today.. catching up with frends and joking ard.. its juz a bliss..

like anna said on her blog.. i also missed the times when we all go out in big groups to go for dinner or juz go out play.. everyone is busy with their own things.. be it studies or work.. whereas i'm in army.. hardly got the time to go out with everyone liao.. realli miss the times sia.. dunno when have to opportunity to meet up in big groups again liao le.. haizZz.. hopefully got chance ba..

tml gotta book in again liao.. sianzZz.. happy times are juz so so so short.. so fast going back to tekong liao.. the place without life.. haizZz.. now onli looking forward to the next book out.. hahax.. when i haven even book in yet.. LOL! think i will end here ba.. very tired liao le.. flying off!!!

sianzZz

haizZz.. cannot believe wat i am doing on my precious book out days.. rotting at home sia.. yucks.. yesterday all i did was to rot at home and use the com for the day.. and eating non stop.. omg.. i wasted one good day liao le.. today also dunno wat to do sia.. dun wanna waste another precious book out day liao le..

erm.. having this funny feeling going thru my mind right now.. i want to ask my frends to go chill out and go out have fun.. budden realli dunno who to ask.. how to ask sia.. my mind is like totally blank.. dunno wat i am thinking about sia.. haizZz.. this suxs man.. my whole brain is realli empty right now.. dun wanna think about anything sia..

dunno why is this happening to mi.. haizZz.. hope i can recover from this "illness" soon ba.. gtg le.. going buy some stuffs for next book in later.. flying off..

yesterday went out finally during my very first book out.. hahax.. long long time nv go out walk ard civilian world liao le.. hahax.. the feeling is juz great.. hahax.. went beach road in the afternoon with my senior zi cheng to get some stuff i need for army.. sianzZz sia.. waste money cauz apparently dun have time to go e-mart get the items.. haizZz.. no choice lo.. have to waste money..

rotted at home using the computer for the whole afternoon.. its realli a blessing to juz sit down in front of my com doing nothing.. and its juz great to be at home.. the comfort the everything.. computer and music.. hahax..

in the evening went to westmall eat sakae.. apparently its becos its ben's last day and he asked mi to go support him.. so asked jing shi vincent and zhen lin to go along.. hahax.. reached there ard 7 plus and luckily we were early.. queue wasn't so long.. hahax.. good to see so many familiar faces after so long.. hahax.. missed so many of them.. then went play pool for a while and went back to sakae at night to look for them.. hahax..

dunno leh.. feel very weird liao le.. feel somewhat different liao le.. like drifted away from my frends liao le.. dunno leh.. maybe i'm thinking too much.. dunno leh.. feel realli so so different liao le.. dunno wat to say and dunno wat to tok about liao le.. realli dunno leh.. haizZz.. its juz 17 days of confinement and i start to feel this way liao le.. how am i going to survive the next 2 yrs??? dunno la.. hope i am realli thinking too much ba..

think i will stop here ba.. dunno wat to write liao le.. hahax.. army makes a guy lose his ability to think.. i realli understand why liao le.. hahax.. might be going out later also.. flying off...

i'm finally back!!!

10th may.. enlisted.. took the oath.. became a soldier.. hahax.. now a full time NSF.. woots.. army life has been such a great transition in my life man.. such a great change.. its never easy to accept the fact that i am no longer a civilian.. hahax.. budden i am proud to say that i have adapted to this transition in my life..

NS is nv something easy.. i nv thought it is so tough.. took quite some time to realli get into the motion of things after my enlistment.. i nv knew we have to march alwaes from one location to another.. to be hearing commands that are totally alien to mi.. and also doing physical training every single day.. it was realli hard to adapt.. especially when u are so far away from ur loved ones and ur frends..

my bunk is a special bunk.. we have got the sea view everyday.. and i can see the sunset every single day.. can also see lots of stars in the night.. hahax.. its totally beautiful.. and i loved it.. budden it also bring about chains of thoughts for mi every single day.. missing all my frends and especially my family.. and making mi think of so many things everyday.. hahax.. in which all my platoon mates say i'm emo-ing.. lol.. budden i still appreciate the beautiful scenary i get to see everyday..

but realli start to adapt after the first week.. and when i got to noe my section mates better.. got lots of support from some of them.. grateful to have them ard.. learnt alot during this 3 weeks of confinement too.. learn to endure and learnt to face obstacles with courage and dun fear to fail.. cannot believe wat i have done for the past 17 days.. hahax.. completing 6km route march with uber heavy field pack and lbv.. clearing obstacle courses which i could nv do in the past at all.. hahax.. endurance and mental strength is realli the key.. hahax..

today finally book out after 17 days.. hahax.. finally can come home liao le.. missed home and my frends so much.. hahax.. went to my work place to takeaway food.. hahax.. 2 of my colleagues couldn't recognise mi.. lol.. hahax.. turned realli tanned and cannot recognise mi easily.. budden its a great feeling seeing so many of them after so long.. and so great to be back home right now..

gonna book in again next tuesday.. sianzZz.. budden still taking it positively.. its a chance to learn more new things and get to noe my platoon mates better.. hahax.. hope i can get all the best from bmt.. hahax.. like my platoon sgt said.. pain is temporary.. pride is forever.. hahahax.. think i will end here ba.. flying off!!!

Last post as a civilian...

sianzZz diao.. i'm like enlisting in like 17 hrs later??? LOL! wahahax.. no realli looking forward to it cauz there are so many things i have not done yet worx.. sianzZz diao.. but i am prepared for the challenge ahead liao.. finally able to let go of the things bothering mi for quite some time liao le.. and there is nothing drawing mi back from army liao le..

think i will take army as a opportunity to noe new ppl and to realli grow up ba.. its realli a once in a lifetime experience for every guy.. from a boy to man.. think it is realli a learning journey for mi in the 2 yrs to come..

here like to take this opportunity to thank all my frends for giving mi such a wonderful memory before i go NS.. especially to my colleagues.. thanks for all the fun i had working and hanging out with u guys.. my life before NS wun have been so colourful without u guys.. i realli had great fun going out with u all and i will bring the memories i have with u guys deeply etched at the bottom of my heart.. take lots of care ppl!!!

also wanna take this opportunity to thank my bro joel, my junior xun kai and my senior zi cheng for all the advices and help they have given mi whenever i have problems and whenever i am troubled.. thank you guys.. buddies forever..

and to all my juniors i wish u ppl luck in ur studies no matter where and where u guys are now and hope everyone of them are doing well and coping well for their studies.. all the best for As to all my juniors in JJ.. hahax.. to everyone of my frends, i hope everyone will take lots of care and may all the best in everything u guys do..

signing off for the last time as a civilian, take care all my frends!!! and also may smooth sailing in everything for my family.. hope to see everyone soon after my bmt.. hahax.. flying off!!! =)

看着缓缓落下的夕阳，
我的心开始暗了下来。
和朋友们一起走过的美好回忆，
仍然在我脑海里记忆犹新，
不停地在荡漾着，
不停地盘旋着。

但如今就要失去了自由，
我才学会如何真正的珍惜。
珍惜我曾拥有的美好的一切。

现实是残酷的，
现实是无情的。
尽管我如何努力地挽留，
感情还是会随着时间流逝。

但我也相信命运是掌控在我手里的。
我有能力改变我的命运。
尽管命运有多么无情，
我还是会努力地尝试，
决不轻言放弃。
这就是我的选择。

suddenly felt like writing something juz now.. so decided to pen down my thoughts for the past one or 2 weeks.. wat i wrote above is realli some thoughts before i go NS.. my helplessness.. but i still believe i can change my fate cauz i noe destiny is in my hands.. its my choice whether to do it anot.. hahax.. gtg le.. going bai bai for NS.. flying off!!!

today was also a good day.. wahahax.. went swimming in the afternoon with my seniors zi cheng and ming fei.. wahahax.. reached JE swimming pool ard 2.45 liddat.. ming fei reached also ard the same time.. zi cheng was already at KFC.. lol.. i and ming fei were lucky cauz a extremely heavy downpour started right after we stepped into the sports complex..

there was thunder and lightning.. so no choice but to wait in kfc for the rain to stop.. in the meantime playing with zi cheng's i-mac.. wahahax.. hahax.. tok cock sing song and listen to music until the rain subsided and we could go swim.. lol..

swam for like 2 plus hours.. wahahax.. i was juz playing ard cauz the weather was so poor and no mood to go swim.. lol.. most of the time the 3 of us were toking cock about army and stuffs liddat.. wahahax.. and also many funny funny de things.. hahax.. so fun de.. the times i spent with my seniors is alwaes fun.. hahax.. cauz we nv fail to crack funny jokes and say funny stuffs when we are out together.. lol..

went to wash up and was deciding where to go for dinner.. wanted to go town but i very sianzZz.. so in the end decided to go sakae to eat cauz my senior ming fei wanted to have sushi cauz he is craving for sushi cauz he juz came back from taiwan for his training.. lol.. so went westmall makan.. hahax.. ate alot.. but in the end paid very little.. thanks to kwang yee.. hahax.. thanks har ky.. wahahax..

after dinner went CSC play pool again.. uper on form.. wahahax.. won many games today.. damn shiok la the feeling.. wahahax.. after which zi cheng and ming fei went back home and i went find my ex colleagues to go back home together..

i had a great day.. hahax.. lots of fun today.. alwaes so fun to go out with my seniors.. nv fail to have fun everytime i go out with them.. wahahax.. appreciate the times i spent with them tons.. lol.. but on the way back on the train was thinking of some things.. bothering mi again.. but think should be fine soon ba.. hopefully.. wahahax.. but i still had a fantastic day today.. lol..

think i will end here ba.. gtg le.. tml going si ma lu bai bai.. for army ba.. alwaes go bai bai before anything major events for mi de.. hahax.. flying off!!!

great day

today i had a great day.. rotted in the afternoon then went to find my junior xun kai at his place.. hahax.. went swimming at the swimming pool at his place and also played table tennis there.. wahahax.. fun.. long time no play table tennis liao le.. after that went to makan at a coffee shop and went play badminton..

after badminton went bukit panjang plaza to go have supper.. my treat.. lol.. had mac.. chatted with him for a long long long time.. hahax.. we alwaes do so after badminton last time.. great to be able to juz chat with him cauz everytime i chat with him there will be things i realise and realli appreicate..

the things we do is alwaes so simple.. so common.. play sports and stuffs.. then chat.. but i realli appreciate the time i spent with this very special junior of mine.. and chatting with him alwaes relieve mi of the many problems i have.. its realli by chance we met at orientation.. would nv have met him if i din join ogl.. and realli din regret my choice of joining ogl..

this post is realli dedicated to this junior of mine.. realli cannot thank him enough for being there for mi all the time when i needed someone to juz listen.. and toking to him alwaes gives mi lots of surprises and i also learnt alot from him.. he is so mature compared to mi being older than him..

today while toking to him, he told mi to not think bout the worries i have.. bout my frends and stuffs.. bout worrying i might drift away from them.. wat he told mi is so true.. and i realise a fact in life.. nothing is forever in life.. life is ever changing and nothing will remain the same forever.. the many special moments in life will realli turn into memories that will follow us forever.. and that is realli the things we should appreicate in life.. and i will rmb all the special moments i had as eternal memory..

realli feel so good juz being with my junior.. he juz a great great frend.. a great confidant.. realli will like to take this opportunity to thank him for all he had done since the time i known him.. thanks so much xun kai.. hopefully army wun drift us apart.. and will make our frendship stronger.. like he said.. army is realli a test of frendship and i will see who my true frends are.. u are forever my greatest pal!!!

think i will stop here ba.. gtg le.. tml should be going out with my senior zi cheng.. lol.. flying off!!! =)

lol.. today was a tiring day.. early in the morning jiu wake up liao le.. cauz got bai bai at home.. qing ming jie.. have to bai zu xian.. ya.. plus last night sleep very very late.. thats why so tired and slept when my elders were praying.. very bad.. think next time should juz sleep earlier liao le.. and have to train to wake up early liao.. 4 more days to NS le..

after bai bai went market buy army de stuffs.. bought quite a lot of stuffs for army.. hahax.. slacked at home when mel called mi and wanted to come my home with ben.. hahax.. so met them at teck whye lrt station there de basketball court cauz i suggested to play bball.. but in the end still went my home to play com.. wahahax..

after that ben went to find his frend while melvin accompanied mi to jp to find a cap.. sianzZz.. in the end decided not to buy one.. cauz apparently my head too too big liao le.. cannot fit any of the caps and i looked ugly in them.. hahax.. so abolished the idea of buying a cap.. wahahax.. melvin bought a bball shorts instead.. lol..

after that went westmall to buy some stuffs i need for NS also.. sianzZz.. some stuffs.. hahax.. so pai sei la.. hahax.. sianzZz diao worx.. thanks mel for accompanying mi worx.. hahax.. then went back sakae to visit our colleagues.. hahax.. chatted with them for a while then went back home liao le.. then on the way back my jie ka jiao mi and asked mi wat i bought.. sianzZz.. so funny la.. think those on the train noe wat i mean.. wahahax.. dun wanna mention here.. lol.. thanks har jie.. wahahax..

saw something on melvin's blog.. so bad.. i sure will slim down de lo.. lol.. slim until u cannot recognise.. wahahax.. but realli hope we can keep in contact during my NS period also.. hahax.. dun wanna lose contact with u guys.. hahax.. take care worx everyone in sakae.. hahax.. think i will end here ba.. my posts getting boring day by day.. time to think of interesting stuffs to write liao le.. hahax.. so can entertain u guys reading.. wahahax.. gtg.. flying off..

back to JJ

after so long, went back to jj once again.. hahax.. the feeling is great.. hahax.. after such a long time i have not been back in skl, i realli miss the times in skl.. hahax.. sitting down and crapping with frends.. its juz so great.. jj is juz cool.. wahahax.. all the wonderful memories i have there.. hahax..

today went back to visit my juniors in cldds.. hahax.. nice to see them.. last time keep saying that i wanted to visit them after exams but din cauz was too occupied with work liao le.. today finally got the time to go fulfill my promise.. hahax.. reached skl and asked xun kai to meet mi at the gate so saved the trouble with the security guard.. but the guard was nice cauz noe him quite well liao le.. hahax..

toked cock with xun kai and his frend for a while then went to see cldds.. hahax.. cannot realli tok to my juniors cauz they were busy discussing about syf stuffs.. so stayed outside the room and met my junior jayne and started toking crap with her.. hahax.. toked for quite long worx.. bullying her.. wahahax.. but it was realli nice chatting with the juniors i noe after so long.. hahax.. so great..

walked ard the skl together with xun kai.. saw many many familiar faces and ppl.. hahax.. and ppl keep saying i slimmed down a lot a lot.. damn shiok la.. hahax.. hopefully can slim down more after BMT.. hahax.. onli got to tok abit with my cldds juniors after their cca.. think today went the worng day liao.. cauz they busy with stuffs.. but still good to be able to see them.. hahax..

after that rotted in skl with xun kai.. toked to his juniors also.. hahax.. rotted for quite some time in skl then went back liao le.. xun kai went back home while i went to buy things i needed for army.. starting to prepare liao le.. hahax.. spending quite a lot of money also.. lucky my dad gave mi allowance to buy my army stuffs.. hahax.. thanks dad..

its simply great to visit skl today.. juz simply toking to my juniors and chatting with them makes my day.. cauz i would be too busy in army to do so any time soon liao le.. so its realli a blessing i took time off to go back skl today.. realli realli treasure the times i spent in skl today.. every second toking to my juniors.. its juz great.. think no words can describe how i feel ba..

think i will stop here ba.. tml got things on at home.. so not going out.. but have to continue to get ready my things for ns.. hahax.. gtg le.. flying off!!! =)

fun fun fun..

these few days have been fun fun fun for mi.. hahax.. hahax.. monday went to my bro joel's home to pass him his bdae present.. lol.. played at his house for the whole day.. hahax.. it was fun.. hahax.. also had lots of fun cauz of joel's cute dog terry.. hahax.. super duper cute.. stick to mi the whole day also.. trying to grab attention also.. make mi sayang him.. wahahax.. uper cute worx.. shall upload some photos worx..

terry.. hahax..

that day played X box at his home for the whole day.. played DOA and also Halo 2.. wahahax.. quite fun.. hahax.. also had dinner over at his place.. his parents were so nice to have bought food for mi.. hahax..

then yesterday went out with zhen lin, wei xia, vincent and melvin.. hahax.. went back to sakae to have buffet.. hahax.. met many of my ex colleagues there.. lol.. so fun playing ard with them also.. but guess choose the wrong day liao le.. cauz not everyone.. but i still had fun.. hahax.. ate alot.. until my whole stomach super duper full.. hahax.. anna and jing shi also drew some funny funny pics.. i and vincent added stuffs also.. wahahax.. upload here.. wahahax..

hahax.. super cute worx.. lol..

ika, salmon head, fried tofu, ebi, hotate, kani and idako.. lol.. cute..

after the buffet went pool with lin xia and vincent.. melvin went play badminton with his frends.. hahax.. played ard 2 plus hours.. then lin xia and vincent went home liao.. went back to sakae to visit my ex colleagues again. can go home together with reggie also.. hahax.. helped xue pan with menu then everything done liao le.. had supper with reggie and anna at mac and then went back with reggie..

back at sakae reggie asked mi why i she bu de leave sakae.. i realli dunno how to ans his qn.. dunno leh.. i realli she bu de.. maybe its juz in mi ba.. cannot let go of the frends i noe.. even if i onli noe them for a very short period of time.. i'm this kind of person ba.. its in mi.. hahax.. thats why army suxs for mi.. and i had been feeling quite down recently having to be drifting away from my frends after i go NS.. hahax.. but let nature take its course ba.. i'm sure everything will be fine.. hahax..

think i will stop here ba.. gtg le.. later going back skl visit my cca juniors.. hahax.. last time alwaes say will visit them but din.. hahax.. today must go back and visit them.. lol.. think will be fun.. ending here le.. flying off!!! =)

tired...

today was a super super hectic day for mi.. woke up ard 12 plus in the afternoon.. cauz last night slept very late.. ard 4 plus in the morning.. cauz was chatting with my junior on the phone for the night.. so good to be toking to him after so long.. hahax.. felt better toking to him also.. cauz he alwaes seem to be able to give mi extra sensible advices.. hahax..

went bai bai today.. cauz qing ming jie.. went sao mu for my grandparents.. once in a yr onli.. so it was an important event.. had lunch at my aunt's place today.. then head off to sao mu.. there was a great traffic jam.. so took a long time to reach.. then somehow halfway thru heard my uncle and aunt had a great quarrel.. to an extend my uncle headed back home.. but somehow he came back in the end..

i realli cannot understand adults.. they can be grumbling at every single thing.. though i dun noe wat realli happened, but i heard from my sis it started from something so lame.. i realli cannot understand why adults like to quarrel over trivial stuffs.. haizZz.. and i also cannot help in any way.. can onli keep quiet.. cauz i noe my elders can nv listen to wat i say de.. they think they are forever right.. thats my family.. still did sao mu.. went sao mu for my grandma after we finish bai bai at my grandpa place..

that was the time i broke down liao le.. realli emotional broke down.. tears flowed down my face when we were finished and my dad ask mi to pray to my grandma to bless mi for my NS.. i broke down totally.. i missed my grandma so so so much.. she was the one who doted on mi the most all the time.. and listened to wat i say.. rmbing her saying she wanted to see mi thru NS.. but now she can't liao le.. i simply dunno how to describe how i feel.. i realli miss her so so so much.. but in the end i picked myself up and stopped crying.. cauz i noe this is life..

haizZz.. thinking over these few days bout my life when i go in NS.. and whenever i think bout such things nothing comes out of it.. hahax.. realli feel helpless.. quite difficult for mi to accept the fact that i am going to drift apart from my frends.. cauz no time to contact them.. my colleagues.. my study buddies.. my og frends.. my senior..my junior.. my best pals.. this feeling totally sux.. especially my colleagues.. so difficult to accept the fact that i will not be that close to them liao le.. cauz juz started to get to noe them better and i left them already.. this sux.. hate this..

but wat my junior told mi last night realli made mi feel better.. and i think its realli life.. this is inevitable for a guy in his life.. and he told mi life is onli meaningful when we lose something.. its true.. but to mi i also think ppl onli learn to appreciate things in life when they are going to lose something.. i realli deeply understand this fact.. but juz this is also another chance to learn something ba.. learning to let go and move on.. nonetheless i will try my very best to hold on to the frendship i have with all my frends..

think i will end here ba.. tml going to try meet my bro joel to give him his bdae present.. lol.. hahax.. gtg le.. very very tired now liao le.. juz like the title.. wat a day.. flying off..

a song my junior juz sent mi.. very nice.. Last request by Paolo Nutini..



here's the lyrics..

Slow down, lie down, remember it's just you and me
Don't sell out, bow out, remember how this used to be
I just want you closer is that alright, baby let's get closer tonight

Grant my last request and just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there, lay down beside me

Now I've found, that I'm bound, to wander down that one-way road
And I realise all about your lies, but I'm no wiser than the fool that I was before
I just want you closer is that alright, baby let's get closer tonight

Grant my last request and just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there, lay down beside me

Baby, baby, baby, tell me how can, how can this be wrong?
Grant my last request and just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there, lay down beside me
One last time let's go there, lay down beside me

OMG.....

haizZz.. onli 10 days left till NS liao le.. this feeling sux.. realli realli sux man.. from last night thinking till today.. there are so many things i haven accomplish yet.. and there are so many things i wanna do before NS.. but time is realli running out for mi.. i can hardly do anything in this short ten days..

but i think i will look on a brighter side.. 10 days.. seems short.. but there is still time.. better than nothing.. now that i am free from my job, i can realli get down to plan stuffs and outings.. there are so many ppl i wanna meet.. it has been so long so long since i have met some of my frends liao le.. realli miss them so much..

yesterday went for dinner with my study buddies liao le.. hahax.. so great.. at least i managed to meet a group of great pals i realli wanted to meet.. there are still so many frends i wanna catch up with.. think its time i take a step and go plan outings already..

1) outing with my very own og 28.. miss everyone of them to bits..
2) go out with my sec skl buddies joel and dinesh..
3) meet up with my best best junior xun kai..
4) chill out with my senior zi cheng
5) catch up with zhen lin, wei xia and vincent they all..
6) visit my colleagues at westmall..
7) have dinner with my family..

haiyo.. so many things to do.. need to prepare my buddy de bdae present also.. hahax.. some other things also.. haiyo.. sianzZz.. time is running out!!! hope i can finish wat i wanna do before NS.. hope i realli do.. think gtg le.. have to go apply for teacher liao le.. and might be going swimming later with joel.. flying off!!!

woohoo..

2 straight days going out.. hahax.. thursday went for bbq at my colleague ky house.. lol.. the bbq was still alrights.. juz that atmosphere wasn't right.. aiya.. dunno la.. was moody during the bbq.. thinking bout lots of stuffs.. din play much also.. hahax.. so bad.. din go and have fun with my colleagues..

after the bbq tonned at ky place for the night.. watched dead or alive the movie.. super stupid movie.. lame de.. fight from the start till the end.. no plot de.. lol.. then after the movie reggie, melvin, kwang yee and shi hua fell asleep.. onli left mi zhen lin and vincent awake.. hahax.. chatted the whole night and played cards to entertain ourselves the whole night.. hahax.. its so nice toking and chatting with them.. realli feel there is a connection there with them..

in the morning went play bball at ky house there de bball court.. fun but reggie got injured.. but ok le.. then sent reggie off cauz he going SP.. actually going with him de but his frend going with him so decided not to go.. hahax.. actually wanted to go back liao le budden in the end jumped into the swimming pool and swam for a while.. wahahax.. after that went boon lay have breakfast with xia and go home liao..

yesterday sleep for like 4 plus hours when i reached home.. then woke up and prepare to go out again with my jc study buddies.. actually nazi and bin hao coming de.. but nazi mum got sick and bin hao decided to ps us.. sianzZz.. so onli mi, yvonne and hao chun met up.. lol..

went town to find yvonne cauz she at taka.. reached there le but in the end cannot find her.. lol.. so retarded.. kept making calls to find where she is.. hahax.. in the end still found her.. there was a sudden change of plans and in the end we decided to go suntec makan.. met hao chun at city hall mrt.. hahax..

so went makan at suntec city.. went secret recipe for dinner.. hahax.. the food was nice.. not bad.. i had grilled chicken rice and a choc cheese cake.. uper nice the cheese cake.. hao chun had stewed lamb and von had fish and chips.. chatted during the dinner and it was so fun.. long time no chat with them le.. hahax.. realli like the past during study period.. hahax.. after the dinner we decided to go visit nazi at her place.. lol.. bought her a white choc cake from secret recipe.. lol..

chatted alot with them in the night.. it was so so so good.. the feeling is simply great.. like last time we used to be chatting in skl.. hahax.. so fun.. shared my troubles with them and i realli felt so so so good.. relieved in fact.. with my frends listening to my troubles and i seem to be relieved a bit of my burden.. hahax.. thanks guys for making my day.. hopefully still got chance to go out have fun again after my bmt.. hahax..

its like 10 days till my NS liao le.. still got so many many things i have not completed.. and so many things i have not learnt how to let go.. sianzZz.. hate this feeling.. it sucks..army means my freedom, my time and my frends.. realli dun wish to lose any of my frendships.. haizZz.. i hope i wun.. cauz i will try my best to hold on tight.. and i think i have to realli try to let go of things before i go NS.. sianzZz.. hopefully i can..

life is not about the number of breaths we take, but the moments which take our breaths away.. realli glad i have so many memorable times with my frends..hope i will keep in contact with them still.. think i will end here ba.. very very tired.. flying off!!!

学会了放手，才能够得到真正的自由...

Goodbye Sakae..

today is my last day in sakae liao le.. very last day le.. it marks the end of my stay in sakae westmall le.. lots of emotions going thru mi.. having mixed feelings today when i left.. hahax.. happy that i no longer have to shou qi anymore.. but realli sad to be leaving my bunch of super great colleagues..

dunno how to say leh.. joined as a promoter in dec.. then decided to stay in service crew.. many a times i wanted to quit and resign.. cauz realli hate the job.. getting scolded and yelled at for nothing most of the time.. but its realli the bunch of great colleagues i have that kept mi going.. realli forged so many great friendship in my stay in sakae..

actually din expect to make so many frends de.. cauz its still a job and i thought ppl will realli be like juz colleagues.. but wat i experienced is totally different from wat i reckon to be.. i realli made a great bunch of frends in sakae.. we are a united team of ppl.. and alwaes go out have fun also.. lol.. had lots of memories in sakae.. most of it are good ones and becos of my colleagues.. the fun and joy i had spending my time with them is realli limitless.. lol..

realli lots of ups and downs in my course of work.. results and lots of probs troubling mi.. but whenever i go out with my colleagues, i can forget bout the troubles i had for the time being and have fun with them.. realli realli grateful to have known everyone in sakae westmall..

here would realli like to take this opportunity to thank all my colleagues i worked with.. melvin, reggie, ben, linda, xue pan, jing shi, amanda, anna, shi hua, kwang yee, caseline, agnes, hock yong, wei xia, zhen lin, vincent and yih pei.. if u all happen to read this, realli thank you guys for making my stay in sakae a memorable and enjoyable one.. appreciate u guys tons..

realli hope can still keep in contact with everyone.. though it is a difficult task cauz i going NS soon le, but i will still try my best to hold on to the friendships that i have forged with everyone.. thats mi.. hahax.. hope i will not lose any of these friendship with my colleagues.. here wanna thanks everyone in sakae westmall again and hope everyone will take care.. all the best in everything.. i will visit u guys when i am free.. lol.. think i will stop here ba.. if not getting more and more emo.. might cry later.. lol.. flying off!!! =)

sianzZz.. feeling itchy all over my body.. having rashes.. think i am realli allergic to alcohol ba.. feeling so terrible right now.. hopefully the rashes will subside soon ba.. cannot afford to let my parents noe i drank.. sure kanna till jia liat jia liat.. anyone has any methods can help mi make my rashes subside??? sianzZz..

today registered for uni liao le.. dunno wats the results ba.. still have to complete the application for teacher.. hopefully can finish soon ba.. lol.. then paid for the application fee liao le.. haizZz.. totally broke this month liao le.. no money to spend at all le.. sianzZz.. still got so many outings and dinner to go to.. hahax.. sianzZz..

tml is my very last day at work liao le.. working full tml.. so fast.. my last day le.. it was onli like yesterday when i juz started work.. think shall blog more tml ba.. think ending here liao le.. got important stuffs to do now.. flying off!!!

back from chalet!!!

hahax.. back from chalet liao le.. it was nice.. lol.. though din have bbq budden it is still great.. had quite a lot of fun at the chalet.. lol.. yesterday supposed to meet at JE at 2pm.. hahax.. in the end turned up late cauz happened to met the rest of them and took train together.. so were late together.. lol..

reached je ard 2 plus.. then took the train to pasir ris.. sianzZz.. it was such a long trip.. hahax.. luckily had jokes going among us that kept us going during the trip.. then took bus at pasir ris to coasta sands resort.. lol.. checked into our chalet which was upgraded cauz the ppl who came yesterday were more than expected.. hahax..

some of them started playing PS2 and the rest strolled ard the chalet.. i joel and wei da decided to rent a bike overnight cauz we actually intended to do night cycling.. but in the end rented 2 bikes cauz wei da was going to go off in the morning and he decided to share with joel.. cycled together with wei da along the beach and it was ard sunset de time liao.. hahax.. took lots and lots of pictures of the sunset.. hahax.. shall upload some here.. lol..

nice scenery..

trees from below.. lol..

nearing sunset..

sun set liao le.. night sky.. so beautiful..

was strolling along the beach and chatting with wei da and joel.. hahax.. joel happened to find a plastic cup.. inside contain 2 jellyfish sia.. wth.. hahax.. someone actually caught the jellyfish and placed them in a plastic cup.. we dig a hole to bury the cup halfway so that the jellyfish can escape when the tide comes.. hahax.. took a picture too..

notice??? the jellyfish is in the cup.. lol

after walking along the beach, went back to the chalet.. ppl there were wei siong, wye huong, chak yong, kent.. they playing PS2 there.. hahax.. somehow we starting chatting bout our life in singapore and the pros and cons in singapore.. it was a very interesting chat among all of us.. first time the ppl in 4/8 discussed bout these kind of stuffs.. hahax.. guessed we all all grew up le.. also started reminisicing bout sec skl days and joking bout the teachers weird gestures.. lol..

mi and joel went to pack dinner for the guys in the chalet at kfc after the long chat cauz we had bikes and it would be very fast.. hahax.. bought 2 party meals and a meal for wee boon.. lol.. cycle all the way to kfc and back.. lol.. having a bike in a chalet is so much convenient.. had dinner and we all carried on playing in the chalet.. also did night cycling with wei siong and joel.. hahax.. night cycling is so so so fun..

its ard midnight we all decided to drink something nice.. hahax.. vodka.. wahahax.. heard wee boon they all bought it.. Absolut vodka.. hahax.. alcohol 40%.. woots.. first time ever in my life i drank.. wahahax.. had ard 4 to 5 cups of vodka mixed with ribena and soda water.. also had ard 2 cups of pure vodka.. sianzZz.. 2 cups of pure 40% worx.. cauz joel offered mi as he kept taking pure ones.. hahax..

cycled together with joel along the beach and drinking as well.. hahax.. got a bit tipsy.. but not drunk.. cauz i am totally conscious of myself and i noe wat i am doing.. hahax.. for a first time its consider quite good le ba.. lol.. budden i think joel had a bit too much liao le.. got drunk.. he felt realli uncomfortable for the night and we all took turns to take care of him.. but he was fine by daybreak..

the liquor we drank.. lol..

in the morning wei da went back first cauz he had skl and the rest of us rotted and stayed till 10 plus to check out.. i and joel went back to the beach again and saw it was low tide.. can see so many things we cannot see during high tide.. nature is juz so amazing.. lol.. we all had breakfast at mac and then took the train back home.. its a long journey again.. everybody slept.. lol..

its was a fun chalet for mi.. could catch up with all my frends i had not seen for so long liao le.. hahax.. had alot of fun.. and could realli forget bout the worries i have for the past few days while playing.. hahax.. its simply great.. and recover some things i had lost in the past.. hahax.. so happy.. it was a great chalet to mi.. lol.. think i will end here ba.. quite tired le.. have to register for uni later i think.. flying off!!! =)

off to chalet liao le.. hahax.. shall blog on it when i am back.. lol.. flying off!!! take care my frends!!! =)

haizZz.. was moody for the whole of last night and today.. thinking so so much about wat i have said.. and thinking so much about my personality.. i felt so so so bad.. i realli sux man.. i realli dunno how to face my frends already.. most importantly myself.. am i realli too rigid in my thinking??? am i so inflexible??? i think i realli am..

i hate it.. today i revert back to my old self again.. coping myself up at a corner to think bout stuffs.. realli trying hard to forget wat i did.. though i noe at the back of my mind escapism does not help in solving a problem.. and it realli doesn't help cauz i haven got a answer yet..

i am scared.. i am worried.. i am terrified.. i dun wanna lose an important part of my life anymore.. i realli hate it.. i realli dunno wat to do.. i dunno wat to say also.. thousands of apologies and saying a million times of sorry will nv help.. cauz wat is done is done.. damage is done.. and the scar will forever be there..

wat i can do i have done.. wat i can try to explain i had attempted.. i can onli leave it to fate to decide liao le.. wat will happen is already destined.. i believe in destiny.. but i do hope destiny is kind to mi this time round.. and i hope everything will be fine soon.. think i will end here ba.. going off to chalet tml and the day after.. hahax.. with my sec skl frend.. so looking forward to this chalet.. hahax.. think it will be great fun.. flying off!!!

现实是残酷的。但我相信人是能改变自己的命运的。

承诺与友情要是只能拥有其中之一，你会选择哪一个？

oh great.. i did something so wrong today.. in fact is said something so wrong today.. omg.. i realli broke my frend's heart.. becos of a promise i made i forgot to acknowledge the frendship between my frends.. i sux totally.. how could i have made such harsh remarks??? out of vexation and frustration??? i dun think thats a good reason also.. omg.. hate it..

i actually told my frend somehow to mind his own business and dun meddle with others' problems.. i broke his heart utterly.. i noe i did.. and its too late liao le.. wat is said has been said.. and i can nv take back wat i have said.. i am that insensitive bastard once again.. it has been a long long time ever since i had said something so hurtful and wrong liao le.. this has been wat i have been avoiding for such a long time.. and yet it happened once again..

i sux totally.. my frend seem to have taken it in his stride and he kept assuring mi he was fine.. but i noe he isn't.. from wat he said before we left home i noe he wasn't.. he said he felt he dun have a place in the group of us since some time back.. and i noe wat i said today sent him down to the bottom of the pit..

hey buddy.. if u happened to see this, though u said u dun wanna read, i wanna apologise once again.. i noe no matter how many times i apologise, it will nv remove this scar i created.. but one thing i wan u to noe is that u may feel that u do not have a place amongst us.. but u definitely have a place in my heart.. u are a frend to mi.. alwaes.. no matter whether u recognise mi as ur frend anot, u will alwaes be my frend in my heart.. cauz u have already made an impact in my life..

to say its realli not ur fault for feeling left out.. its our fault instead for not caring about how u feel.. and i made this mistake today.. i din care about ur feelings.. its my bad.. i'm realli sorry.. hope u forgive mi.. i noe i am irritating cauz i realli dun wanna lose another frend ever anymore.. i have lost too many already.. and i realli dun wan the same thing to happen again.. cause u are realli an important frend to mi.. from the bottom of my heart..

i dunno leh.. i realli hope i can solve this misunderstanding soon ba.. i dun wan wat happened in the past to happen ever again.. i realli dun wanna have regrets anymore.. hopefully a miracle will happen....

i'm sad.. i'm disappointed.. i dunno wat to say.. wonder whether wat i did was right anot.. haizZz.. once again locking myself in a chamber of thoughts.. think gonna get insommia again tonight.. =(

woots.. monday after work went sakae buffet with linda.. hahax.. ate yakitori which made mi vomit in the toilet.. zZz.. so better not eat yakitori again in future.. lol.. today also went out.. hahax.. with linda again.. lol.. cauz we all today no work so decided to go out window shopping.. hahax.. cauz at home also nothing better to do..

meet linda at ard 2.30 liddat at yishun mrt.. then go marina square walk walk.. lol.. to look for her passport holder to be specific.. lol.. hahax.. went down especially to the mini toons there to get the passport holder cauz onli its the onli outlet in singapore which still has stock.. hahax.. she bought the passport holder and we carried on window shopping..

had lunch at food court this time cauz going budget cauz the both of us haven been working much this month and its ought to be time to save and scrimp a bit liao.. hahax.. chatted for quite a long time at the food court while waiting for ben ben and shi hua to join us.. hahax.. realised we both have many things in common.. hahax.. in the end she become my "gan jie" liao le.. lol.. very long nv chat for so long le.. hahax..

after that ben ben and shi hua joined us.. carried on with window shopping and ben ben bought one shirt.. hahax.. after that shi hua went for dance class so mi linda and ben ben went for dinner.. shi hua joined us after her dance class but i and linda left home first cauz both of us not feeling very well.. she had a flu and i had sore throat.. must be that yakitori.. lol.. hahax.. so took the train home and rotted and chatted on the phone with my senior.. lol..

tml going work.. hahax.. not going ice skate liao le.. cauz mel mel wanna go.. then 9 ppl le.. so decided not to go.. cauz not feeling very well also.. knee aching and shoulder aching.. cannot afford a fall liao le.. lol.. so decided to go work.. can earn money also.. wahahax.. too little schedule this month liao le.. hahax.. think i will stop here ba.. going sleep liao.. not feeling very well.. flying off!!!

back to blogging liao le.. it has been quite a week.. tiring yet fun week.. went out with colleagues and stuffs.. enjoyed my week very much.. budden as much as i enjoyed myself, had been moodly at home also.. dun wish to stay at home everyday.. dunno leh.. very very bored at home.. all i can do is to go online and do nothing.. lol.. but more importantly cauz quarrelled with my mum.. haizZz.. hopefully things will be fine soon ba..

onli these few months i have started thinking about life.. seems like i gained enlightenment liddat.. hahax.. realised i have realli changed alot since my jc days.. realli believe that the exams period was a turning point of my life.. meeting my study mates changed mi alot i guess.. and i reckon that that working also made mi a more mature person.. and i'm happy with who i am right now.. nonetheless still striving hard to make myself a better person..

tendered my resignation liao le.. working till the end of march.. 28th will be my very very last day liao le.. its realli goodbye to sakae westmall liao le.. lots of emotions and thoughts thinking of leaving sakae.. lots of memories also.. more to the good ones.. realli think i will miss everyone over there in sakae.. realli forged lots of friendship over there..

army is coming so soon liao le.. a bit chuo shou bu ji.. so many things i have not done yet and so many things i haven accomplish.. so many things i wanna do.. organise outing for my own og, catch up with my study mates.. so many things i wanna do.. and so many questions that i have not answered myself.. arghhh.. army realli deprive ppl of precious time.. yucks..

think i will have to use my time wisely this few weeks liao le.. especially this week.. many things to be completed and done.. cannot afford to waste my time.. think gotta register for a dourse this week also.. if not no time liao le.. also have to sort out my thinking and try to answer myself to the many qns i have and also help my frends in their probs.. hopefully i can do it..

think i will end here ba.. looking forward to the week to come.. ice skating again i think.. lol.. and sure it will be fun.. hahax.. tml going back skl getting money for fac.. hahax.. then working tml.. flying off!!!

为何选择了放手，但在无人的夜里会感到心痛？？？

haizZz.. rather pissed yesterday.. nowhere to go to but choose to rant here.. so pardon mi from being realli exasperated here.. went back home yesterday wanting to find the $100 plus receipt i kept from the other time to be a vip member for sakae.. but didn't manage to find it.. so went to ask my mum if she had seen my receipt anot..

was rather impatient and a bit impolite i admit.. cauz its $100 plus dollars worx.. had a hard hard time keeping receipts.. budden my mum started yelling at mi and accusing mi that i am blaming her she lost my receipt.. i realli dunno why.. i tried to control myself but i can't.. started losing my temper liao le..

after that had a bad fall in the kitchen cauz the floor was too slippery.. stomach crashed into the basin and had a hard knock on my injured shoulder.. sianzZz.. now my shoulder is realli like breaking apart.. i realli dunno why.. my mum start accusing mi that i was falling on purpose and yelled so loudly almost the whole HDB flat can hear her.. zZz.. then my dad was waken up and started scolding mi..

i realli dunno why.. my parents nv try to understand things and start scolding and shouting.. they can nv tok nicely to mi.. hate that.. they nv get the facts right and they will condemn u like nobody's business.. realli hate this.. i realli wonder when they can ever tok nicely to mi and i would do the same.. haizZz.. hate it..

nonetheless yesterday was a great day for mi.. the unhappy stuffs happened onli at home.. went out with ben, anna and anna's younger brother.. hahax.. went ice skating at je.. lol.. it was my first time ice skating.. very very NOOB.. hahax.. struggled learning how to balance and how to skate.. budden in the end managed to learn how to skate le.. hahax.. from a few hard falls and knocks.. hahax.. very funny de i keep falling.. hahax..

took neoprints after ice skating.. very fun also.. hahax.. weird weird de poses and funny funny de gestures.. lol.. had a great time taking neoprints also.. hahax.. very very interesting.. upload the neoprints we took yesterday.. hahax..




















act cute de.. hahax..




















sushi!!!!




















ghostly~~~~~

hahax.. after ice skating went causeway point for sakae buffet.. hahax.. cauz anna de little brother nv eat buffet before.. very fun de chattin and dining over there.. saw sandberg also.. hahax.. very fun.. ate quite alot yesterday cauz very very hungry.. ben kept entertaining us with his jokes and fun gestures.. enjoyed myself at dnner very much..

it was alwaes fun going out with my colleagues.. hahax.. think i will very much miss the times i spent with them when i quit at the end of this month and preparing myself to go NS liao le.. hopefully will keep in contact with them and come out play after i left.. hahax.. think will end here ba.. gotta work later also.. budden shoulder uber pain dunno how to work also.. think hang on ba.. flying off!!! =)

today went out early in the morning.. went out with joel and my sec skl frend chak yong.. hahax.. we all decided to catch a movie today.. so met at lot 1 and then after that decided to go town to catch a movie..

decided to catch the movie Letters from Iwo Jima.. its a war movie narrating the japanese perspective towards world war 2.. it was a nice movie.. very touching in fact.. the soldiers from both america and japan had to leave their family for war.. actually i realli feel that war is realli cruel.. causes so much misery and sorrow to the ppl..

however one phrase that realli touched mi and took mi alot is that a mother of an american soldier said that: "Do what is right because u think that it is right." realli something for ppl to ponder about.. many a times ppl dun noe whether the things they do is right or wrong.. and ppl will regret for doing something wrong..

but this phrase realli teaches ppl a lot.. we should not be regretting on whether wat we did is right or wrong.. instead, we should realli do things because we feel that it is right.. its realli the choice that matters.. in life, there is realli no right or wrong choices.. its realli dependant on overselves.. if we feel that wat we did is right and carry on our convictions, there will not be a wrong choice and regrets in the future.. i dunno.. this is my point of view and ppl may not agree with mi.. again its up to choice again.. lol..

this was the catch of the day during the movie.. caused mi to ponder quite a lot after the movie.. think realli din waste the money watching the movie today cause realli learnt something.. after the movie went walk walk with joel ard town.. chak yong din join us cauz he had something else on.. then went back to lot 1 to fetch his bike and walk to the canal we used to hang out during sec skl.. hahax.. its a nice experience and great to go back to the place i had lots of memories about sec skl days..

currently have lots of things on my mind once again.. got alot of things i realli wanna do.. cauz i think i dun have much time left till NS le.. and there are so many things i realli wanna do.. budden when i realli start to think of wat i wanna do now, my mind goes blank.. haizZz.. realli dunno wat i wanna do sia.. gonna plan it later.. hahax.. think i will stop here ba.. tml think going play bball.. flying off!!!

zZzZz...

my one week of break is over le.. gonna start work soon.. budden noe wat??? my manager gave mi another 3 days of consecutive off days from monday to wednesday.. meaning that i had 10 days of break in a row.. sianzZz.. dunno how to tune back to the working mood liao le.. zZzZz..

haizZz.. this painful week has finally ended.. starting afresh from tml onwards.. looking forward to the new goals i have in life and moving with life.. managed to face the failures and accepted the reality liao le.. time to realli move on to the next stage of my life..

guess its realli time to learn to take a step at a time and not be too hasty in doing things.. have to be calm and composed when facing difficulties and failures.. this week i realised many many stuffs.. ppl cannot hog and complain bout failures and refused to do something to improve the situation.. there is no point grumbling and blaming ourself, regretting watever we did in the past.. wat is done is done.. nothing can be changed.. i learnt that ppl must learn to face the reality and to try to solve the problems we have in our hands.. it will realli make ppl feel better in times of despair and agony..

hopefully i can realli plan my future well and not regret my choice in the future.. i already have many regrets and i dun wan my future to be in my list of regrets again.. the reality is cruel.. and many a times reality really causes lots of pain and sorrow to us.. however time can realli heal the wounds that reality has created.. but a scar will alwaes be there.. nonetheless we still have to face life with courage and hope..

hahax.. getting more and more naggy le.. think will end here ba.. another food for thought of the day.. thought of it on my way home today.. 暴风雨后是否就能真的看到晴朗的天空??? leave u ppl reading this post to think about it.. hahax.. realli like ah peh liddat.. hahax.. flying off!!!