my life

dunno why.. now late in the night liao.. having the urge to blog about this issue.. have been hiding too many things to myself lately liao le.. i am like a balloon rising into the sky and i feel that i will explode very soon liao le..

many things came crushing down since the june holidays.. lots of bad news and lots of things happening ard mi and its suffocating mi.. had commons at that period of time and was realli realli distracted away from my studies.. thats why i am in the state i am in right now.. i can't blame anyone cauz its my own problem and i can't seem to be able to untangle the knot that is in my heart..

have been fighting this losing battle since the new term have started.. no one to help mi and no one to assist mi in everything.. everyone drifted from mi and some refused to even converse with mi.. its like i am all alone in a totally dark and endless tunnel nv able to see the light again.. i am trapped and i am confused.. if i go on liddat and things holding mi back, i can nv be able to stand up on my feet and i will fail utterly in my exams at the end of the yr.. too many things that are affecting mi and holding mi back and it seems like acceptance is something that is so far away from my reach.. i think i will nv be able to get that.. ever..

i need to say everything out.. budden i can't.. there is nowhere i can express myself.. and no one to confide in.. it seems that this society is so scary and intimidating that trusting someone may become a wrong step in life eventually.. i dunno wat i can do.. but onli to suppress all these till everything is over at the end of the yr..

i guess i have to fight alone from now onwards and find the motivation to spur mi on.. at least i noe there is one that i will be working towards now.. that is to get excellent results and prove some ppl wrong.. and that i can do it too.. especially to those who look down on mi.. i will persevere till the very end.. yeah..

feel much better saying all these out.. at least a very small part of it.. also have to thank some of my frends and senior who had been listening to mi these while.. yeah.. appreciated it a lot.. i guess i will stop complaining here liao ba..

P.S. 109 days left till A levels..