my life

started work today liao.. its much suckier than i had expected.. work sux man.. now realli start to ponder and think whether i had made a wrong choice to join service crew anot.. decided to become a service crew member cauz i realli liked the working environment in sakae westmall.. the ppl is fun there and the working atmosphere is good.. plus i would onli be working for 2 months thats why i rather work in a place i am familiar with..

work was realli tiring mi out even on the first day liao.. realli cannot tahan.. not physically but mentally.. realli cannot adapt to the change from a promoter to a service crew.. cauz last time being a promoter i practically do nothing.. wahahax.. budden now have to do EVERYTHING.. from orders to clear tables to this and to that.. though i noe most of the stuffs liao le.. but my mind juz cannot adapt to the change.. almost de zui customer today even.. haizZz..

realli dunno whether i have made the right choice mah.. i realli worried i might juz quit.. my mind is not that strong afterall.. i may seem happy go lucky at many times and occassions, budden there are many many many other worries that i am hiding from..

very first my results for As.. as i was toking to one of my colleague, As de results releasing very very soon liao le.. in a month's time i guess.. if i flunk my As it will onli mean 3 things.. one is i fail so badly that i have to repeat one yr and take As again this yr and it will mean i will waste a yr of my life.. second is that i cannot repeat cauz i have a full cert budden results not good enough for uni and i will be dangling there dunno wat to do.. third is that i choose another route and go poly again after my NS.. meaning i will waste 5 yrs of my life.. zZz..

my colleague said i have to be optomistic.. budden i think i have to be realistic.. i noe where i am and i cannot have high expectations.. even to pass for mi is difficult i think.. haizZz.. this feeling is realli antagonising sia.. this is giving mi lots of problems to worry about and then my worries for job started.. many things are going thru my mind especially some.. budden i realli dunno how to say.. i am worried my mind will break down soon.. arghhhh!!!!! realli hate this feeling of waiting for answers to the many many qns that is going thru my mind.. arghhhh!!!

one good thing bout work is that it can temporarily numb ur brain when u are busy.. i will not think bout anything much when i am occupied with work.. thats why i guess i will be be working and working ba.. budden at times when i am not working i will be flooded with worries and qns again.. haizZz..

after work today was some time i chilled out.. knocked off early today at 4 and my 2 other colleagues melvin and shi hua kinocked off at 5.. so i suggested we all go play pool.. and it will be my treat.. wahahax.. had quite some fun today budden not on form again worx.. haizZz.. played badly.. mood realli affects one at games.. budden it was still fun ba.. went home ard 9 plus and watch a bit of tv and now rotting in front of the computer.. zZz..

realli down liao i guess.. after so much fun for the past 2 weeks.. sianzZz.. think i will take a long long time to recover ba.. like last time.. i dunno how to make myself feel better budden i realli hope i wun let my bad mood affect my work and my frends and colleagues.. cannot show to them also.. have to continue to be the funny and lame zheng xiang.. zZz.. think i will stop here ba.. cannot carry on liao..