my life

haizZz...

did lots of cleaning up today.. washing field pack and uniforms.. my god.. it was crazy.. took 3 whole hours to finish washing away all the mud and dirt.. burnt my afternoon away sia.. late afternoon went joel's home.. hahax.. terry is still as adorable.. hahax.. kept chasing mi ard when i reached joel's home.. hahax.. somehow my spirit was lifted in the day.. then at night went dinner with my sis and played pool also..

now late in the night in front of my computer.. nothing much to do.. starting to think about so many stuffs.. seriously there are so many things on my mind now.. and i dunno how to put them across in words.. nothing much i can say bout the army cauz i might get charged if i said the wrong stuffs..

i dunno leh.. nowadays i'm seriously feeling helpless.. in fact useless liao le.. army has realli changed my life so much so much.. i hardly have time for my family.. needless to say my frends.. i'm seriously feeling guilty.. for not putting in the effort to find time for my parents and frends..

the dinner i wanted to organise failed.. cauz i din have the time to go and ask my frends personally.. onli asked linda to help mi cauz of the field camp.. in the end it failed.. the commitment is seriously too heavy for mi to handle liao le.. and i realli have the feeling that i am drifting away from so many of my frends.. haizZz..

i realli feel so bad that i cannot be there for some of my frends when they needed someone to tok to.. juz a listening ear, i cannot be there.. all i can do is to chat during my book out and i realli can hardly do anything about it cauz the next day i'm back in camp.. haizZz.. i'm seriously lost liao le.. i seriously dunno wat i should do.. i'm juz so helpless.. i'm juz so useless.. haizZz..

guess i will stop here ba.. realli dunno wat to say le.. haizZz.. sianzZz.. think better sleep earlier.. sleep liao jiu no need think about probs liao le.. hahax.. but i guess escapism doesn't solve a problem right??? sianzZz.. flying off..