my life

ARGHHH!!!!

i have nv been so down in my mood ever since i finished my exams last yr.. feeling so empty and frustrated right now.. and i dunno how to express it out man.. this realli realli sux man.. even as i am writing this post i dunno wat i am trying to say also.. arghh.. this feeling is so disgusting..

why am i so unlucky to be injured at this point of time??? why must i be sent home??? why can't i go thru field camp together with my fellow frends??? this is realli exasperating.. i am nearing to POP liao le.. even if i wun be posted to a good vocation, i still wanna go thru everything in BMT.. now i missed field camp which is the most important part of BMT.. this feeling sux man..

i noe accidents wun be called an accident if we noe when it will happen.. but i realli dunno why it must happen to me.. i cannot go thru all the shyt and hardships with my platoon and bunk mates.. it also means i missed my chance to realli bond and connect with them liao le.. arghhh.. i doubt anyone can understand how i feel.. i keep asking myself why but i can never get an ans..

i might have to recourse.. it doesn't matter.. cauz i still serve the same period of time.. but wat i realli cannot let go is the frendship that i have forged in raven.. i started to bond with my frends.. the thought of the fact that i cannot pass out with my platoon mates juz sux man.. even if i managed to pass out, there will still be this regret that i have not realli completed BMT.. haizZz.. realli feeling so bad right now.. and this is realli a prob i cannot solve.. no matter how hard i try.. haizZz..

i realli wan to tok to someone.. but i dunno who i can tok to.. i dun wanna trouble my frends.. haizZz.. think i juz have to learn to accept reality once again ba.. but the world is cruel.. reality hurts.. flying off......